


hidekaneheadcanons' Drabble Collection

by orphan_account



Series: From the Vault [4]
Category: Tokyo Ghoul
Genre: Alternate Universe, Angst, Canon Divergence, Drabble Collection, Fluff, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Massages
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-27
Updated: 2020-12-29
Packaged: 2021-03-11 01:34:36
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 58
Words: 27,450
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28366977
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: Originally Posted on Tumblr.
Relationships: Kaneki Ken | Sasaki Haise/Nagachika Hideyoshi
Series: From the Vault [4]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2035357
Comments: 12
Kudos: 38





	1. Massage

**Author's Note:**

> I don't remember writing half of these. It's one big adventure. I don't even know how many there are.

Hide collapsed on Kaneki’s couch next to him, his whining near incomprehensible. “Damn exams. Stupid exam chairs.”

“What’s wrong?” Kaneki sighed and set down his book.

Hide put his feet in Kaneki’s lap and twisted to look at him with the biggest puppy eyes. “I spent three hours in my exam, looking down at my paper. My back is killing me. My neck is killing me. I may actually be dying.”

“I don’t think you’re dying.” Kaneki picked up his book again. He smiled to himself as Hide started whining again.

“But, _Kaneki_. I could be! Don’t be mean. Don’t you love me?”

Kaneki sputtered. Dropping his book, Kaneki stared at Hide. “I – do you… well… I mean… I could give you a massage?” Which – was _not_ at all what he meant to say. And judging by Hide’s expression, not at all what he expected Kaneki to say either.

Hide recovered at lot quicker than Kaneki, pulling off his shirt with enthusiasm. “You would do that?”

“I mean – I guess. Yeah, I will.” Kaneki only turned redder when he took Hide’s hand in his. “It would probably be easiest if we did this… uh, on the bed.”

Hide laughed nervously, rubbing the back of his neck with his free hand. “It would, huh?”

They went to Kaneki’s bed, where Hide hesitantly laid down on his stomach. Kaneki laid his hands on top of Hide’s bare shoulders. His skin was hot to the touch. Kaneki struggled to remember how to give a half-decent massage while his hands were on Hide. Judging by the way Hide’s muscles were gradually relaxing and the pleased little hums he would give every so often, Kaneki wasn’t doing too bad a job.

“You know,” Hide murmured. “I was expecting like – a cup of tea. Not this. It’s nice.” Hide smiled. “ _Wow_ , you really do love me, huh?”

Kaneki’s hands froze. “I guess I do.” Before he could lose the nerve, Kaneki softly kissed Hide’s shoulder blade.

Hide twitched, then flipped on his back. Before Kaneki could react, Hide wrapped his arms around Kaneki’s waist and pulled him to his chest. Hide tangled their legs together, smiling against Kaneki’s neck. “You do.”

“I do,” Kaneki whispered.

Hide laughed happily. “I love you too.”


	2. Reunion

The last time Hide felt like this, he had his ass kicked by Nishiki. Back then, he awoke in Anteiku, bandaged and hurting. He was given shaky explanations and then sent home. He didn’t question anything, knowing that being anything other than clueless would put him in danger.

This time though, Hide woke to an unfamiliar ceiling with no one to greet him. He had no idea where he was, or whose bed he was in. His heart wrenched when he saw a dull room with bookshelves stacked all the way to the ceiling. He turned his face towards the pillow and smelled the distinct scent of the shampoo Kaneki used.

He tried to not get his hopes up.

Sitting up painfully, he tried to remember what happened. He was hanging ‘missing person’ posters for Kaneki. It was getting dark – he was being followed. He was pulled into an alley, then –

Hide winced, his fingers brushing against the bandage on his shoulder. He remembered the feeling of teeth sinking into his skin. He would never forget it.

The door creaked open and Hide’s head shot up. He froze – wondering if what he was seeing was actually true.

“Kaneki?” He croaked. His throat burned and he nearly doubled over coughing.

Kaneki stacked pillows behind him, then guided him to lay back with gentle hands. A glass of water Hide really wished he noticed earlier was retrieved from the nightstand and handed to him. Hide took it gratefully, his eyes burning with unshed tears as their hands brushed together. Kaneki was real. He was actually there with him.

“I almost lost you.” The words were quiet, but Hide heard them. “When I found you there, with that ghoul over you, I thought…” Kaneki’s lips were drawn thin, his brows furrowed. He sat on the edge of the bed. They were close, but not touching. Those inches felt like miles.

Yes, Kaneki almost lost him. But Hide also lost Kaneki. For months, he had no idea whether he was okay, or even if he was alive. But now, he was sitting right there, and there was nothing Hide wanted to do more than grab onto him and never let go.

“Don’t leave,” Hide whispered. He set the glass down and grabbed the edge of Kaneki’s shirt. “I can’t take losing you again. So please don’t leave.” His voice wavered. He imagined their reunion to be different than this. He imagined flinging himself at Kaneki like he used to, radiating happiness.

He imagined being happy.

And he was. He was happy. But that was far overshadowed by the fear of Kaneki leaving again. So, he laid in Kaneki’s bed and cried. When Kaneki laid beside him, he turned and pressed his face against Kaneki’s chest, shoulders shaking as he tried to stifle himself.

“I’m right here.” Kaneki said. “I’m not going anywhere.”


	3. Snowmen and Snowballs

Hide placed the last book on Kaneki’s bookshelf with satisfaction. It took a long time to finally unpack everything, but the small house they were moving into finally felt like a home. Kaneki was in the kitchen, cleaning up after lunch.

Hide smiled. It always made him feel all warm and fuzzy when Kaneki cooked for him.

In the kitchen, Kaneki was finishing up some dishes. Hide snuck up behind him. He laughed quietly when Kaneki jumped as he wrapped him arms around his waist. Hide kissed along Kaneki’s jaw and neck. Kaneki tilted his head back and folded his arms over Hides, sighing softly.

“It’s snowing,” Kaneki murmured.

Hide hummed and glanced out the window, seeing there was already a white blanket covering their small backyard. “And it’s all ours.” Hide pressed a kiss against his cheek. “So, we can do what we want. Like build snowmen!”

“Snowmen.” Kaneki said. He glanced over his shoulder at Hide.

Hide tried to look as innocent as possible. “Snowmen.” He grabbed Kaneki’s hand and dragged him away from the sink. “Come on! I can finish those later. Let’s head outside!”

Kaneki hesitated, but relented, pulling away from Hide long enough to dry his hands. They put their winter clothes, Kaneki borrowing on of Hide’s bright scarves.

It turned out that the snow was the perfectly sticky. Hide almost felt like a kid again, his pants soaked through at the knees and his cheeks red with the cold. By the time he was done the head of the snowman, he was shivering from head to toe. Kaneki finished his long before Hide. It looked a lot better than Hide’s, but Hide liked to think his had some spunk to it.

Kaneki was staring into the sky, his gaze distant. Hide crouched, gathering some snow in his hands and balling it up. Kaneki looked really beautiful, small snowflakes catching on his long eyelashes and the ends of his fluffy white hair. Hide couldn’t resist.

Kaneki’s gaze snapped to Hide the send he drew his arm back. “Don’t you dare throw that snowba –, goddammit!”

Kaneki tackled Hide to the ground, a hand behind his head to make sure he wouldn’t hit it on the ground. Kaneki’s scarf was covered in snow, his knit hat askew. Hide smirked up at him and wiggled experimentally.

“Rude.” Kaneki admonished. He kept one hand behind Hide’s head and used his other to pull his scarf down. He kissed Hide gently, tangling his fingers in the hair at the nape of Hide’s neck. Hide’s toes curled as he leaned up, seeking to deep the kiss.

Kaneki’s hand let go of his hair and shoved snow down Hide’s back. Hide _shrieked._ “Kaneki! You ass!” Hide shot to his feet and danced around, trying to shake the snow out of his coat. “Not fair.”

“Totally fair.” Kaneki caught Hide and kissed him again. “Let’s go inside and get warmed up, yeah?”

Which – Hide couldn’t really complain with that. He _supposed_ he could forgive him. If given a warm bath and plenty of cuddles.


	4. Shackled

It was four in the morning when Hide walked into his apartment, finding Kaneki laying in his bed. He was clutching Hide’s pillow, his legs tangled in Hide’s blankets. He was absolutely covered in blood. Everything from his now white hair, to his shackled wrists and ankles. The chains were busted, but the cuffs still remained firm around his wrists.

Hide swallowed thickly and gingerly rested his hand on Kaneki’s shoulder. It was two weeks since he last saw him, but it felt much longer than that. Hide suspected where Kaneki was – and did his best to help him, but there was only so much he could do. And now, seeing Kaneki like this – knowing what Kaneki went through –

Hide shook his head as he felt his eyes water. He couldn’t be caught up in his own emotions – Kaneki needed him.

Hide stood and quietly went through his drawers, pulling out one of his lockpicks. He worked on Kaneki’s ankles first. As gently as he could, he removed the cuffs, trying not to wake him. However, when he was trying to remove the final wrist cuff, Kaneki’s eyes snapped opened and he grabbed Hide’s wrist with a bruising grip.

Hide flinched, then went entirely still. Kaneki’s expression was something Hide never saw before – a mixture of rage and absolute terror. A few seconds passed before Kaneki relaxed, his hand falling limply to his side.

“It’s okay,” Hide whispered as Kaneki guiltily adverted his gaze. “Let me get this off for you, okay?”

Kaneki nodded numbly.

Moving slowly, Hide rotated Kaneki’s wrist so he could get at the lock better. He breathed a sigh of relief when the lock finally clicked and he was able to remove that last damned piece of metal from Kaneki’s body.

“I’m sorry –“ Kaneki drew his wrist out of Hide’s grasp. “I shouldn’t have –“ His voice shook. “I don’t know what I was thinking – I was just walking and I ended up here – but you weren’t here – and I wasn’t going to stay – but I was so exhausted and I didn’t mean to.” Kaneki eyes flickered over Hide’s bloodied sheets.

“Hey.” Hide took Kaneki’s hand back in his. “I’m with you, okay?” Hide pressed his lips against Kaneki’s bloodied hand. “Always. _No matter what._ ”

It was the most important thing Hide could do – simply be there for him.

Kaneki’s breath hitched and he bowed his head. “I –“ Hide was worried he was going to argue. He didn’t. “Thank you, Hide.” He clutched Hide’s hand like a lifeline. “ _Thank you_.”


	5. Post-Apocalypse AU

When they woke in the morning, the sky was still as black as night. A great wind swept through the trees. The howling made a shiver run down Hide’s spine. His dad used to tell him the sound was the cries of wandering spirits that died when they stepped out while there was a storm. Growing older, Hide knew it was the wind, but that didn’t make storms like this any less dangerous.

Lightning lit up the sky, illuminating blue-green clouds. Debris was flying about, deadly to anything that stood in its way. Hide stepped back further into the cover of the ruins. It was some stone structure of the past, covered in moss and vegetation, but no less sturdy. It had kept them safe and dry for the past three months, and would continue to do so for much longer.

“Looks like we’ll be trapped for a while…” Hide said. He retreated to their sleeping area, where Kaneki was lighting a candle.

“How long do you reckon?” Kaneki pulled his bedding over himself, shivering.

They had a five-day supply of food and water, and enough firewood to last them over a week if they needed it. “Hopefully not too long. But I’m sure we can manage. We have before.”

Feeling the bite of the cold as well, Hide slipped into bed next to Kaneki. Kaneki immediately shifted to make room for him. It was awkward at first, sleeping with someone else, but it was much nicer when it was cold like this.

They met each other four months earlier, searching the ruins of a city from the past, lost hundreds of years ago. Hide met other people before, though in his experience, they were a lot less friendly than Kaneki. They were more interested in killing Hide and taking his supplies than they were interested in sharing and being cooperative. Sometimes the scar across Hide’s ribs from the knife still smarted.

Hide and Kaneki’s alliance was tentative at first. Hide guessed that Kaneki had similar experiences. A long scar ran from his jaw to the bottom of his eye. It was faded, but it still stood starkly against his skin.

Eventually, they grew more comfortable around each other – comfortable enough they could sleep through the night without worry of getting stabbed. Kaneki was the first companion Hide had since his parents passed many years earlier. Until they were together, Hide didn’t realize how lonely he was. To be without Kaneki now was unthinkable.

Feeling Kaneki’s gaze on him, Hide glanced at him. He smiled softly. It was often lately, that he would catch Kaneki like this. There was clear longing in his eyes. Kaneki looked away, his cheeks reddening as he realized Hide noticed him staring.

“You know,” Hide began, making Kaneki flinch. “I’ve seen the way you look at me when you think I don’t notice. I don’t mind.”

Kaneki’s head shot up. He met Hide’s gaze again. “You don’t… mind.”

“Nope.” Hide smiled, shifting closer so he could put an arm around Kaneki’s waist.

“Oh.” Kaneki whispered.

“Oh.” Hide agreed cheerfully. He rested his forehead against Kaneki’s.

Kaneki pressed his lips against Hide’s, slow and hesitant. Hide pressed back eagerly, running his tongue along Kaneki’s bottom lip before he pulled away. Kaneki exhaled shakily, then rested his head against Hide’s chest. Hide wrapped his arms around him, dropping a kiss to the top of Kaneki’s head.

The storm raged outside, but Hide never felt more peaceful than when he was laying beside Kaneki.


	6. Injuries and Lies

It was half past midnight when Kaneki stumbled into their modest little house, leaving a blood trail behind him. Hide stayed up waiting for him, curled up on the couch with a blanket, watching his favourite soap opera. He was worried – always worried when Kaneki went out on ghoul-related business. He didn’t expect him to come home with a hole practically through his stomach.

Hide rushed forward, almost tripping over the blanket in his hurry to get to Kaneki. “ _What happened?”_ Hide gasped. _“Oh god.”_

“I’ll be okay.” Kaneki hissed through clenched teeth. “I just need to lay down. Eat something.”

Hide helped Kaneki over to the couch, blood wetting his hands through Kaneki’s shirt. “I’ll get you something, okay? Just stay put and try not to move too much.”

Kaneki bit back a groan as he shifted on the couch. Hide ran to get one of the wrapped packages of meat on the bottom shelf of the fridge. Kaneki gratefully took it from him, his kakugan activating when he took his first bite.

It usually bothered Kaneki if Hide saw him eat. But he hardly seemed to care, tearing into the food with abandon. Hide rested a hand on his shoulder, watching with awe as Kaneki’s flesh slowly started to knit back together.

“You lied to me,” Hide mumbled. “You said there was nothing to worry about tonight – that it was just a routine meeting…”

“Hide…” Kaneki whispered, his lips red with blood.

“You could have died.” Hide’s eyes stung with tears. “I could have lost you.”

“I’m not going anywhere,” Kaneki said. “I promise.”

Hide took Kaneki’s hands in his, not caring that they were bloodied and had bits of ground human on them. He rested his forehead against their joined hands and breathed in and out. “I can’t lose you.”

“I know.” Kaneki squeezed his hands. “Hide, I know.”

Hide shook his head. “You need to – I need to – let’s get you cleaned up – then you can rest, okay? You need to rest.”

“Okay.”

Hide just wanted to hold Kaneki in his arms, and know for that moment, that everything was okay.


	7. Oneshot!Kaneki and Investigator Hide

He was being watched.

It was something of a sixth-sense Hide developed, after five years of being an investigator for the CCG. Hide was used to ghouls lurking in the shadows, waiting for the right moment to just –

A hand wrapped around Hide’s wrist, stopping him from opening his suitcase and activating his quinque. He was crowded back against the alley wall. In another circumstance, he may have been frightened, if he hadn’t already caught a glimpse of the familiar clown mask.

The clown spoke teasingly. “We need to stop meeting like this, investigator.”

Hide worked in the twentieth ward – known for having little ghoul activity. However, there were a number of powerful ghouls the ward was home to – including the clown in front of him.

“Ken,” Hide greeted. “Fancy that, I was just looking for you.”

“Oh? Do you often prowl down alleys looking for me?” Kaneki lifted his mask just enough to kiss Hide’s neck, most of his features still obscured.

“Only when you don’t answer my calls.” Hide took a small step to the side and glared at Kaneki. “I was worried, you know. I thought something might have happened to you.”

“Nothing happened.” Kaneki slid his mask back over his face and folded his arms.

“Oh _really_. So you just up and disappear for _two_ weeks, because _nothing_ happened.” They’d been dating officially for four months now. Unofficially, about six and a half. Kaneki had originally been one of Hide’s marks, someone the CCG suspected of being a ghoul and Hide was tasked to investigate. Although, the bastard charmed his way into Hide’s heart. They were making it work – somehow. Or, at least Hide liked to think they were. “So what is it then?” Hide asked.

Kaneki flinched. He moved to crowd Hide against the wall again. When he lifted his mask, Hide was sure Kaneki’s lips would be on him again, tempting him to forget the argument, and just let himself be held in Kaneki’s arms. Instead, Kaneki’s forehead pressed against Hide’s shoulder. The hand that wasn’t holding his mask reached down to grasp Hide’s.

“I think I’m in love with you and I’m terrified.” Kaneki whispered.

Hide squeezed Kaneki’s hand, heart beating rapidly in his chest. Before Hide could offer comfort, or tell Kaneki how much he loved him, Kaneki stepped away again.

“Tonight. My place.”

And then he was gone.

Hide stared at the place he was just standing and slumped against the wall. “I love you too, you bastard.”


	8. A Lonely Hide is a Dramatic Hide

Kaneki was dense. So incredibly – and sometimes frustratingly – dense. Hide knew when they started dating – _before_ they started dating. It took weeks of flirting for Kaneki to realize that Hide, maybe, possibly, liked him. After that, Hide learned to be as direct as possible.

In fact, Hide was _very_ good in communicating his wants and needs to Kaneki – but the reverse wasn’t always true. Kaneki was quiet and often had difficulty expressing himself. Hide did his damn best to deduce what Kaneki wanted in their relationship, but that could only go so far. Hide often had to prod him into opening up a little more.

Recently, Kaneki was more distant than usual. It happened sometimes, when the ward got messy or violent, and Kaneki had to spend long nights cleaning it up and making it safe again. It usually took a couple weeks at most. However, a month had already passed. Hide wished Kaneki could retire that clown mask for good, and that they could spend all the nights for the rest of their lives together.

A futile wish, but still.

At least Hide could always look forward to Sundays, where he was guaranteed at least a few hours of quality-Kaneki-time. Hide was usually up before Kaneki, so he took the opportunity to brew some of Kaneki’s favourite coffee and cook breakfast for himself.

Hide waited to Kaneki to wake up and get _at least_ one cup of coffee in him, then he dramatically threw himself at him. Kaneki grunted in surprise, but predictably caught Hide in his arms.

Neither of them said anything, Hide pretending (badly) that he passed out. After a few moments he cracked an eye open and gazed up at Kaneki’s bemused expression.

“Sleeping Beauty awakes.”

Hide gasped theatrically. “And I didn’t even receive a kiss from my true love – how cruel.”

Kaneki rolled his eyes and kissed Hide’s forehead quickly. “Happy?”

“As if.” Hide pouted. “That doesn’t count. So, no kiss. No ‘Hide are you alright’. No ‘Hide, you fainted… straight into my arms. You know, if you wanted my attention you didn’t have to go to such extremes’.”

“Ah.” Kaneki’s lips twitched. “I see.”

“It’s alright, I’ll let you try again.” Once again, Hide fainted, even less believably than last time.

Kaneki huffed and scooped Hide up, carrying him to the couch. He laid Hide down, a hand remaining on Hide’s waist when he bent to kiss him gently. Hide placed his hand over Kaneki’s, arching slightly into the kiss.

“Better?” Kaneki asked.

“Better.” Hide agreed with a smile. He sat up quickly, dragging Kaneki down to sit beside him.

“I know you’ve been lonely,” Kaneki started quietly. “It’s only for a while longer, I promise.”

“I know. I’ll manage.” Hide cupped Kaneki’s cheek, thumb tracing the dark circle under his eye. “How are you holding up?”

Kaneki sighed, tilting his head towards Hide’s palm. He shook his head. “There are things I’ve seen. And I can’t – I won’t – “ He shook his head again. “This world is wrong.” Hide couldn’t even imagine.

“What can I do?”

Kaneki looked at Hide, his eyes haunted. He closed them, his expression twisting into something painful. He laid down, practically collapsing, and laid his head in Hide’s lap. His arms wrapped around his waist tight – almost too tight – as he pressed his face against Hide’s hip.

His voice was muffled, but undoubtedly hoarse with all his tears left un-cried. “I don’t know.”


	9. A Homecooked Meal

Kaneki sat in Hide’s kitchen, idly sipping coffee as Hide clanked things about a hell of a lot more than he had to. Earlier that morning, Hide rather proudly stated he was going to cook dinner for them. Hide was a hopeless cook if Kaneki ever saw one. He couldn’t even boil water without making a mess. But he promised with a bright smile that everything would be homemade – _nothing_ store-bought or ordered in.

Kaneki couldn’t really say no without feeling bad. Hide was so excited – and Kaneki didn’t want to do anything to disappoint him.

There was a time when Kaneki would have been elated to receive a homecooked meal from Hide, even if it tasted as badly as everything else Hide cooked. He knew Hide would have made it with all his heart, and would have loved it for just that. However, that was now tainted with worry. Worry that he wouldn’t be able to force the food down. Worry that he wouldn’t be able to keep it down. Worry, beyond all, that Hide would find out.

Kaneki longed to be human again. He wished he could eat together with Hide like they used to. Like when Hide would buy takeout. They would sit on the floor in Hide’s living room and watch crappy movies or read crappy comics. The whole time, Kaneki guarded his plate from Hide. For every piece of food Hide stole, Kaneki stole one back, and waited for Hide’s inevitable cry of: “Hey! I was gonna eat that!” Or, like the times they went out to eat, and Hide would take food from his own plate and put it on Kaneki’s.

“Dinner is served!” Hide cried with flourish. He set Kaneki’s plate down in front of him. And while it certainly looked good, the smell almost made him gag. Hide sat down across from him and rubbed his hands together. “I think it turned out pretty good! I’m excited to try some.”

“Me too.” Kaneki picked up a piece of meat – pork probably – that was glazed with sauce. He swallowed the piece, then pretended to chew just like Touka showed him to. Then he quickly chased it down with water, thankful that at least some of the rancid taste was washed away. Kaneki composed himself, then smiled at Hide. “It’s good.”

Hide was frowning at him, his own plate untouched. “It is? Really?” His voice was flat, rid of all earlier excitement. “You sure?” His gaze was piercing and Kaneki just managed to not flinch.

“I am.” Kaneki rubbed his chin. “You did a good job.”

Hide’s mouth twitched up into a smile, his eyes crinkling a bit. “I did? Good, then! I’m glad you like it.” Hide picked up his own chopsticks and dug in, humming in appreciation. Yet, the entire time they ate, Kaneki felt his gaze on him.

Kaneki wondered then – if Hide _knew_. It would make sense if he did. Hide seemed to know everything, even if Kaneki didn’t tell him. Yet, if Hide did know, why wouldn’t he ask Kaneki about it?

Kaneki continue to eat, interspersing bites with water.

Kaneki supposed Hide wouldn’t ask him about it for the same reason that Kaneki wouldn’t tell him. He just couldn’t bring himself to. It was too difficult. It would split them apart.

But was it really better left unsaid?


	10. Kaneki cooks for Hide

Kaneki’s hands were covering his eyes. Hide cupped Kaneki’s hands with his own, grinning.

“Can I look yet?”

“Not yet.” Hide could hear the smile in Kaneki’s voice. “Almost.”

When Hide woke that Sunday morning, it was to gentle kisses across his cheeks and jaw. He’d sighed, still half-asleep, and lazily turned his face so he could kiss Kaneki on the lips. There were a few blissful minutes of sleepy cuddles and kisses before Kaneki spoke. “I’ve got a surprise for you.”

Kaneki led Hide to the living room, where he sat him down on the couch. After he asked Hide to keep his eyes closed, he promptly wrapping him in blankets and propping him up comfortably with a number of pillows. Hide would smell something _amazing._

“You can open your eyes now.”

The coffee table was _covered_ in a spread of dishes, all having one of Hide’s favourite foods. There was everything from grilled fish, to fried vegetables and ramen. There had to be at least twenty plates, each with a small serving on it.

“You did all of this for me?” Hide grinned as Kaneki passed him some utensils. Kaneki had cooked for him before – and _god_ , for not being able to taste the food, everything he made sure was heavenly.

“I’m getting better at it, and I wanted to try my hand at a few more complicated dishes and well – “ Kaneki gestured to the dishes, his face scrunched as he searched for the right words. Even with all the reading Kaneki did – he had difficulty articulating his feelings. “And well – I thought you would like this.”

“I love you.”

Kaneki’s expression relaxed and he smiled softly. “Yeah?”

“Yeah.” Hide nudged Kaneki with his shoulder. “Kiss me?”

Kaneki happily obliged.


	11. Compromise

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I succeeded in retrieving my files from my old laptop. Yay! There are um.... a lot more drabbles than I thought there were.

“Please put that down.” Hide groaned. “Pay attention to me!”

“I’m reading.” Kaneki said, as if it was the explanation as to why he was _ignoring_ his boyfriend.

“You read yesterday,” Hide complained. “And you’ve been reading for two hours already.”

“And I just got to an exciting part.” Kaneki relaxed further into the couch and made it clear he wasn’t moving anytime soon.

“Do you know what’d be even more exciting!?” Hide flung himself on the couch next to Kaneki, snuggling up close to him. “If we went outside! Went to the park!”

“It’s _cold_ ,” Kaneki argued.

“Now _that_ is a perfect excuse to get coffee and hot chocolate.” Hide pushed Kaneki’s white hair off his forehead and kissed it. “Please. Pretty _please_?”

“Hide…” Kaneki muttered.

Hide dramatically turned away, bringing his hand to his forehead. “Oh, whatever will I do?” He rubbed his eyes, pretending to wipe away tears. “My boyfriend won’t pay attention to me and I’m so lonely!”

There was a tired sigh and Hide turned back hopefully. “How about a compromise?” Kaneki asked. “We’ll do something fun together. But, I really don’t want to go outside today.”

“Hmmm.” Hide acted like he was thinking about it. “Deal.”

Kaneki marked the page in his book and set it down. “Then what do you have in mind?”

“Maybe watching a movie?” Hide smiled. Yeah, cuddling up with Kaneki on the couch and watching something they both enjoyed would be nice.

“That sounds good.” Kaneki pinched Hide’s cheek lightly, then stood. “Do you want popcorn?”

“I thought we didn’t have any left.” Hide touched the red spot on his chin with a raised eyebrow.

Kaneki’s lips twitched. “That’s because I put some in a… safe place, in case you ate it all in one sitting. Which you did.”

“I’m still rather impressed with myself.” Hide admitted. “What movie to you want?”

“Anything. I’ll watch it.” Kaneki was turning to go when Hide caught his hand.

“Hey, ‘neki?” Hide said softly.

“Yes, Hide?” Kaneki responded, smiling slightly.

Hide pulled Kaneki close so he could kiss him on the lips. “Thank you.”

“Just pick a movie, you dork.”


	12. A Place to Belong

Kaneki knew he should stop. Every time he stood on Hide’s doorstep, ringing the bell, he was putting him in more and more danger. Kaneki’s life was hazardous and… and _fucked up_ and the _last_ thing he wanted was for Hide to get hurt by all the people who wanted to hurt Kaneki.

And yet…

Hide opened the door, a grin on his face as he pulled Kaneki into his arms. Kaneki relaxed into them, breathing in the familiar scent of Hide’s shampoo.

Kaneki voiced his worries to Hide many times, only to be given assurance. Hide was careful and could take care of himself, even if he wasn’t a ghoul. But, that didn’t stop Kaneki from worrying.

Hide said something then, laughing, but Kaneki missed it, though he offered a small smile in response. Hide guided Kaneki to the bedroom, a supporting hand around his waist, probably noticing how distant Kaneki was. Kaneki hesitantly laid down, still unsure if it was some place he belonged, even though he wanted to so _much_.

“Did you have a bad day?” Hide tangled their legs together, pulling Kaneki into his arms. “You seem a little out of it.”

Kaneki sighed, snuggling his face against Hide’s chest. “Nothing more than the usual.” Kaneki pulled back to stare at Hide. The way his lips naturally curled up at the ends like he was always smiling, the soft jawline and cheeks and those honey golden eyes flecked with brown and black.

Kaneki couldn’t bear the thought of losing him. He couldn’t bear the thought of never seeing him again.

Very slowly, Kaneki leaned forward, pressing their lips together. He felt a shudder go through Hide as he happily sighed. Hide’s fingers trialed down Kaneki’s back, his hand coming to a stop on the small of his back, pressing them closer together. Kaneki relaxed, starting to feel boneless, like his body was melting against Hide’s and they were becoming one and the same.

He could hear Hide’s quiet laughter between kisses, his favourite sound in the whole world. He joined in as well. He didn’t need a reason to laugh. As long as he was with Hide, it felt as natural as breathing.


	13. A Phone Call Away

> Kaneki couldn’t sleep. He stared up at the ceiling, watching the way the light was manipulated by the swaying of his curtains in the breeze coming through his open window. It was still cold out, but Kaneki usually liked to bury himself under three or four blankets during the night anyway.
> 
> So many times when he laid awake like that, he thought of Hide. It was the best to keep his mind off the alternatives, even when the guilt would shoot pangs through his heart. He clutched at his chest, wondering what Hide would be doing. Study? He hoped so… he hoped Hide moved on with his life, yet… the poster Kaneki saw earlier that morning confirmed otherwise.
> 
> Hide was still looking for him.
> 
> So many times when he thought of Hide, his phone would somehow end up in his hand, and he would type those numbers out, but never hit call.
> 
> That night, he did. He was unsure of exactly what he was going to say. Anything he could to get Hide to stop searching for him, he supposed. The phone rang a few times and Kaneki was sure Hide wasn’t going to pick up before a sleepy voice answered.
> 
> “ _Hello_?”
> 
> Kaneki froze. It was so long since he heard Hide’s voice, and just the sound of it made tears appear in the corners of Kaneki’s eyes.
> 
> _“Hello?”_ Hide asked again.
> 
> Kaneki wasn’t sure what to say. “Hide,” he mumbled. _Shit_ , Hide could probably hear he was crying. What would he think?
> 
> “Kaneki? Is that you?”
> 
> Kaneki’s breath hitched and he cradled the phone beside his ear. “Yes,” he mumbled quietly.
> 
> Hide remained silent for a few moments. “It’s okay Kaneki. What’s wrong?”
> 
> Kaneki felt something rise up within him, and his words snapped out before he realized what he was saying. “Why do you always do this? Why do you always say it’s okay?”
> 
> Hide quieted on the other line and Kaneki nearly bit his tongue.
> 
> “It’s not okay.” He wasn’t angry at Hide, he was angry at himself. “It’s not okay, and I’m sorry.” Kaneki covered his mouth, squeezing his eyes shut as he trembled.
> 
> He heard a sigh on the other end of the line. “…I missed you.” Hide admitted. “It made me scared. To not know where you were, or how you were doing.” Kaneki could hear the pain in Hide’s voice and he unsuccessfully tried to hide his sob.
> 
> “Hide… I want to see you…” So much for driving him away.
> 
> “I’m on my way.” Hide stated.
> 
> That startled a small laugh out of Kaneki. “You don’t even know the address.”
> 
> “Well, you know. You _could_ give it to me while I put pants on.”


	14. Mermaid!Hide

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This is a compilation of drabbles set in the same universe where Hide is a mermaid. Years ago when I first wrote this, I was going to expand it like I did my ghost or prince AU, but never ended up doing it. Hence, it seems a little short and uncompleted, even though its all fluff and no plot haha

Hide liked to swim during storms.

There was something thrilling about it, feeling the uncontrollable strength of the ocean throw him around in the water and the way it pulled him up into tall waves. It was exhilarating. Besides, he felt much safer in the vast ocean where there was nothing he could collide into, rather than hiding in an underwater cave in the dark, or being huddled dangerously close to shore. There have been mermaids washed ashore by the powerful waves, but then again, there have also been mermaids lost in the ocean when they ventured too far out, never able to find their family again.

Hide didn’t have a family, or friends that he was too close with, so he had no worries. He twisted his body, felling his muscles pull and strain. Heavy raindrops hit his face when he submerged from the water, and he relished the feeling.

It was dark and the sky only lit up by brief flashes of lightning. It danced off the crests of the waves, showing the clear and empty ocean, a mass of land faintly in the distance.

That’s when he saw something floating in the water. “What’s that – gah!” A wave splashed into his face, forcing him back under. When he resurfaced, he spit the water out of his mouth distastefully.

He swam out to the object, quickly discovering there was more than one. Pieces of wood and various items it seemed… was there a shipwreck? He searched through the wreckage curiously, pulling up short when he saw a figure laying limply on top of a piece of wood, fingers curled around the edge desperately.

Hide swam up to the person – a man – who had his eyes shut as his body trembled from the cold. Hide cautiously reached out towards him. Mermaids weren’t supposed to interact with humans, but Hide couldn’t just leave him there, could he? Hide touched the man’s arm and nearly recoiled when he saw the man’s eyes shoot open.

The moment the man met Hide’s eyes, he knew. He heard so many tales about soulmates when he was younger, but it never struck Hide that he would actually find his. And a human too! When their gazes met, Hide felt the burning pressure behind his left eye as it changed colour, and saw the man’s change as well before his eyes slid back closed and he lost consciousness.

That sight made Hide’s stomach flip… in anticipation, excitement… and fear. Hide knew one of his eyes changed into a human’s – a grey iris surrounded by a white sclera. But, in exchange, Hide left the man with one of his mermaid eyes. Hide always envied other mermaids’ eyes. Though all of them had black sclera, the majority had various vibrant blues, greens, purples, or Hide’s favourites – yellows and oranges. But, instead of one of those colours, Hide was left with a blood red. A bad omen, he was told, and according to the hushed whispers he heard when he was young, the reason he was abandoned by his parents.

Now, the human was left with one of those eyes as well.

Hide brought the man out of the rain and out of the water, retreating into a small cave he knew in a nearby lagoon. It was difficult to get to it, but once they did, the shallower water was fairly calm, and Hide was sure they were safe inside. Despite that, it was still rather cold, and the man was shivering violently. Hide wasn’t sure what else he could do. There was nothing he could use to warm the human up, except rub the man’s back quickly, hoping the friction would at least generate some heat.

Hide did that until his arms felt like they would fall off and he felt the water in the cave begin to recede and become practically still, signaling that the storm was over. After a few moments of hesitation, Hide decided to quickly swim outside and check if the sun was out. It would do a much better job of warming the man up and drying his clothes, though Hide would have to be careful since humans easily got sunburned and overheated.

Hide was pleased to see the sun was breaking through the clouds, a warm patch of light hitting his cheek. Smiling, he made his way back into the cave to get the man, only to find he was sitting up and looking at his surroundings in confusion.

The man stared at Hide, one of his eyes grey, and the other black and red. A perfect mirror image of Hide’s. The man was blinking tiredly, licking his dry lips.

“W –“ He began, but immediately started coughing.

Hide rushed over, gently rubbing the man’s back as he curled up slightly. Hide purposely turned his face to the side so the man could only see one of his eyes. The human one. The one he got from that man. “There we go.” Hide kept rubbing his back until he stopped coughing. He wished he could get the man water, but there was only saltwater and Hide didn’t know how to purify it.

“Why are you all wet?” The man croaked, eyeing Hide’s damp hair. Then he looked around, his eyes widening as if he just realized he was in a cave half-full of water. “Where am I?”

“You’re uh –“ Hide bit his lip. “Do you remember what happened to you?”

The man’s mouth opened, but no sound came out. Then slowly, he shook his head.

“I found you in the water… I don’t know what happened exactly. A shipwreck, I think.” Hide continued staring off to the side, worried for the inevitable.

The man didn’t respond, instead Hide felt fingers on his cheek, just below his left eye – the man’s grey eye. As the man guided Hide to face him, Hide placed a hand over his inhuman eye. “It’s okay,” he murmured.

And slowly, very slowly, Hide let his hand drop. The man inhaled sharply and Hide fidgeted. Then, just like he did with the human eye, the man traced the skin below the black and red one.

“What’s your name?” He asked quietly.

Hide took a deep, shuddering breath. “Hide. It’s Hide.”

“I’m Kaneki. Kaneki Ken.” He was staring at Hide so gently, so patiently, that Hide couldn’t resist wrapping his arms around him.

Kaneki made a startled noise, then quietly laughed, rubbing Hide’s back like Hide had done for him earlier. “You know, I wasn’t expecting my soulmate to have a tail.”

~<3<3<3~

Kaneki stared at Hide for a long while, studying everything about him. Even if Hide didn’t mean to, every time Kaneki reached out for him, Hide leaned closer, like gravity was drawing them together. Kaneki kept tracing the skin under his eyes, as if he was fascinated by them. He didn’t seem to be scared, or intimidated, and that really meant the world to Hide. Kaneki wasn’t looking at him like a monster, but with curiosity and with a tenderness that made Hide smile with happiness.

“Hey, Kaneki?” Hide couldn’t stop looking at him either. His hair looked soft and Hide ached to touch it. Hide wanted to hold him again and feel his warmth against his skin. And Hide wanted to hear his voice and his careful way of speaking.

“Yes?” Kaneki’s eyes mirrored Hide’s, yet they looked so different on Kaneki. Even the inhuman eye, it was different than it was when Hide had it. It looked so much softer, gentler. It looked beautiful. Anything about Kaneki was beautiful.

“How are you feeling?” Hide examined Kaneki’s face further. If he looked past his own feelings, he could see Kaneki was pale, and though his clothes were beginning to dry, he still appeared to be rather cold. “The storm is over and we should get you back to shore.”

Kaneki looked like he wanted to argue, but his teeth were still chattering. Mutely, he nodded sadly. “Okay.”

Kaneki took Hide’s outstretched hand, shaking as he was pulled back into the cold water. “Don’t worry, we’ll be out in the sun soon.”

Kaneki nodded as Hide guided him through the cave, telling him to hold his breath when he had to. The shore was visible from the cave, and when Kaneki saw it, he started kicking his legs to assist Hide. When Kaneki wasn’t so exhausted and cold, Hide knew he was an excellent swimmer. When they made it to shore, Kaneki sat on the still damp sand, gasping as he stared up at the sky.

“You should…” Hide sighed. “You should probably go to town, take care of yourself. Are you from around here? Do you have a home here?”

“I don’t know,” Kaneki murmured. “I don’t recognize this shore.” He looked so incredibly sad. “Hide, are you... Are you saying goodbye to me?”

He jerked back. “ _No._ ” He cupped Kaneki’s cheeks. “I want to see you again. Next time, without hypothermia.”

“Oh.” Kaneki smiled and nodded, like all his worries were suddenly calmed. “Okay.”

~<3<3<3~

Hide generally showed his affection through physical contact, wriggling impatiently and nuzzling against Kaneki’s shoulder or stomach. Hide was a very physical person when it came to expressing his emotions, and though Kaneki thought he was a tad odd at first, he himself enjoyed the contact.

With the hot sun beating down on the rocks, Hide stretched himself out, wrapping his arms around Kaneki’s waist and laying his head on his lap. Kaneki ran his fingers through Hide’s hair as he stared out over the ocean, watching the calm waves glisten in the light.

Hide shifted in Kaneki’s lap, releasing his waist and rolled over, staring up at him. Kaneki waited for a few moments, enjoying the serene scenery, before he looked down at Hide with a small smile. As Hide remained uncharacteristically quiet, Kaneki brushed the curling, drying hair away from his face, carefully tucking the sections he could behind Hide’s ears.

Blinking up at Kaneki, Hide slowly took a hold of one of Kaneki’s hands, holding it against his cheek. After a few moments, Kaneki brushed his thumb back and forth across Hide’s cheek in a soothing motion, causing Hide to sigh. As he did so, Hide turned his face, pressing his slightly cool lips against the palm of Kaneki’s hand. Despite how much cooler Hide was, Kaneki couldn’t help but feel warm.

He felt his cheeks flush as Hide sat up with a grin. Hide scooted closer to him so that they were hip to hip, then leaned against Kaneki, bumping their shoulders together. Hide took the hand he kissed in his own, gently giving Kaneki’s fingers a squeeze.

“May I?” He murmured, and Kaneki could see the flash of his incredibly sharp teeth with each movement of his lips, but Kaneki didn’t care anyway.

He nodded his consent. “Yes.” Hide’s kisses were as tender as always, slow and cautious, just the way Kaneki liked the most.

~<3<3<3~

“I need to show you something!” That was the only warning Kaneki got before he was pulled into the water, arms flying out in panic only to catch onto Hide’s shoulders.

Hide’s rash actions earned him a glare, though there was no weight to it. “And what is this great, oh so amazing, I need to pull Kaneki in the water and soak his cloths, thing you _need_ to show me?”

“It’s going to be no fun if I tell you beforehand!” Hide made a disapproving noise, and Kaneki could feel the water move by his feet, telling him Hide was swishing his tail around. So, either he was really impatient or excited.

Probably both.

Kaneki continued treading water and looked up at the sky. “It’s going to be dark soon.”

“But you told me I had you for the _whole night_!” Hide was whining, and Kaneki could already tell he was fighting on the losing side of the argument.

“I did say that, but I wasn’t exactly thinking we would be going on an ‘across the sea adventure’.”

“We’re not going _across_ the sea. I promise. It’s not very far.” Hide was pouting and Kaneki struggled to not give in.

Kaneki groaned. “Not very far, he says. A mermaid who literally spends the whole day swimming.”

“If you get tired, I can always carry you!” Hide was grinning impossibly bright, the little golden scales on his cheeks glittering in the light of the setting sun.

Kaneki sighed. “Fine. I’m prepared to be amazed.”

Maybe the distance wasn’t very far for a mermaid, but Kaneki? He was exhausted, though he managed to make it to where they were going with his own strength and minimal rest. It was a small island with a rocky shore, and while Hide navigated with ease, Kaneki decided to go up on a sandy beach, walking across the dryer tops of the rocks rather than navigating between them. Hide picked one fairly close to the shore, so Kaneki didn’t have _too_ much difficulty reaching it. Hide laid back on the rock, the ocean spray from the incoming tide keeping his lower half wet even though he wasn’t in the water. Kaneki sat beside him, not bothered by the drops of water constantly splashing on him. He was wet already anyway.

Kaneki glanced around and saw… not really anything amazing and unusual. “And that is why we’re here…?” Kaneki asked, wondering if he was missing something and hoping Hide would point it out.

“Wait for it!” Hide grabbed his shoulder and stared up at the sky.

Kaneki shivered and moved closer to Hide, snuggling against his chest and relaxing when Hide wrapped his arms around him. “If you say so.”

“There!” Hide pointed up excitedly as the dark sky lit up with colour.

Aurora borealis. Incredibly rare so far south. “Hide how did you –“

“Shhhhh. It’s a secret.” Hide whispered.

“Passed down for many generations, and ancient, magical secret.” Kaneki huffed, making Hide laugh.

“Exactly.”

Kaneki placed his hands over Hide's, staring up at the gorgeous night sky. 


	15. Overhanging Shadow

Kaneki stumbled out of the bedroom, his shirt clinging to his damp skin. The air felt too hot, suffocating, and Kaneki gasped quietly as he made his way to the kitchen to pour himself a cold glass of water. He gulped it down quickly.

“Kaneki?” A quiet voice asked from down the hall.

He sighed and slouched over, resting his head on the cool counter. Footsteps padded softly against the wooden floor. Gentle fingers traced up Kaneki’s back to his shoulders. Hide squeezed Kaneki’s trembling shoulders, humming comfortingly.

“Why do you always do this? You know you can wake me up.” Hide murmured, pressing a kiss to the back of Kaneki’s neck. “Coming back to bed?”

Kaneki shook his head slowly, dreading the thought of going back to sleep.

“That bad, huh?” Hide leaned closer, pressing his chest flush against Kaneki’s back. “You want to stay up a bit? Drink some coffee, cuddle and watch some crappy shows?”

Kaneki nodded, cringing a little when he noticed the small puddle of tears he left on the counter. He shuddered, a small sob escaping through his tightly sealed lips. Holding one hand over his mouth to stifle the noise, Kaneki let Hide gently guide him to the couch.

“It’s okay,” Hide whispered. Hide sat, but Kaneki nudged him until he laid down. Kaneki nearly laid down on top of him, resting his head over Hide’s heart.

“Is it?” Kaneki asked. “Hide – I. I can’t even sleep through nights. Every time I close my eyes I see –“ Kaneki broke off, unable to speak anymore. He already told Hide the majority of what happened. He explained the most he could. He knew Hide would understand.

Hide held him tighter, tangling their legs together. “You’re safe now. They can’t hurt you again.”

“No, only my thoughts can.” Kaneki muttered bitterly, wincing when he realized he snapped at Hide. “I’m sorry. But I don’t see how it’s okay right now. I know I’m safe, I know I should be _happy_ now. But – it still hurts so much. Hide, it _hurts._ ” As he spoke he could feel Hide slowly stiffen beneath him. “I love you. I love you so much. You _do_ make me happy, but it’s like my every thought, my every action has a shadow hanging over it.”

“I love you too,” Hide said. “I want to do what I can for you. To make you happy and make you feel secure. What can I do? How can I help you?”

Kaneki sighed, shuddering. “Just hold me.” He didn’t know what else to say. He didn’t even know how to help himself. “I – I… what else is there? Hide, I feel so _lost._ ”

“We’ll figure it out,” Hide assured. “Things will get better. We just have to keep striving forward.”

“How do we even know we’re going in the right direction?” Kaneki felt like there was a weight in his stomach.

Hide swallowed thickly. “We can get help. I know – I realize why you might not want to, but –“

“Okay.” Hide seemed surprised to hear the word, but then his face softened and he smiled. “I don’t think this is something we can handle.” The words tasted sour as they came out of Kaneki’s mouth. Yet, there was something like a relief, as if some of the weight of his back already faded.


	16. The Heist

Kaneki wasn’t two steps through the door when Hide practically jumped on him, his eyes alight and almost glowing with excitement.

“Kaneki. Be my partner in crime.” Hide glanced around the house like he was worried about something.

Kaneki was used to Hide’s antics, guessing it was some sort of game, though he didn’t know the end result. So, he would just have to play along to find out. “What’s the job, partner?” Kaneki lowered his voice in an attempt to sound gruff and saw Hide stifle a giggle.

“We need to infiltrate the bedroom. We’re performing a heist.” Hide dropped to his hands and knees and Kaneki slowly and awkwardly followed suit. “The problem is all the lasers.”

“Lasers?”

“They’re all over the place.” Hide’s eyes cut around. “Luckily enough I have the ability to see them, so stay close behind me as I navigate.”

“How do you see them, partner?” Kaneki asked, a playful tone slipping in to his voice as he rolled his eyes.

Hide tapped the spot next to his eye, then looked around, quickly deciding to grab his orange sunglasses from the nearby table. “These super special goggles.”

“Amazing function, could improve on style.” Hide stuck his tongue out at him.

“Follow me.” They crawled through the kitchen and around the couch in the living room. “We have to be extra quiet.” Hide said as they moved into the hallway.

“Why? What are we stealing?” Kaneki whispered.

Hide grinned. “You’ll see.” When they reached the bedroom door, he nodded to Kaneki. “Open it.”

Kaneki reached for the knob and turned it, letting the door swing open. When it did, Kaneki saw an unfamiliar object in front of the bed, then heard a small and high-pitched noise which he wasn’t even sure could qualify as a bark.

“Hide!” The little puppy was in a basket filled with blankets, wriggling and yipping. Kaneki scooped him up, laughing as he twisted in his arms to lick his face.

“Hey, buddy. You have a nice little nap?” Hide tried to pet the puppies head, but it seemed more interested in licking his palm.

“He’s so cute. What’s his name?”

“I thought I’d leave that up to you.” Hide wrapped an arm around Kaneki, cuddling close to him, and used his other hand to pet the puppy’s back. “You’ll probably come up with something creative from all those books you read.”

Smiling brightly, Kaneki kissed Hide on the cheek. Hide smiled back. It made him happy to see Kaneki happy.


	17. Post-Anteiku Raid AU

Kaneki rolled over in the fluffy bed, burying his face into his pillow and he felt a resounding throbbing behind his eyes and a painful twist in his side. He groaned quietly, realizing the sheets beneath him were wet. Why were the sheets wet? He rolled back over, feeling the sheets, smelling blood. His own blood. He couldn’t see because there were bandages over his eyes.

His breath hitched as he recalled the previous events. The raid. The gaping hole in his side. Hide. The quinque going through his head, going through his _brain_.

Kaneki heard the door open and he struggled to get up. He didn’t know who it was. Who just came in the room? Gentle hands pushed his shoulders back down and he panicked, until a familiar scent washed over him.

“H-Hide?” Kaneki whispered, shocked by the raspy quality of his voice.

“Hey ‘neki. You should rest.” Fingers carded through his hair. As Hide did so, Kaneki reached up to touch him. Except his fingers brushed gauze and Hide hissed in pain.

“You’re hurt.”

“I’m fine.” Hide took his hand and held it in both of his. “I’m more worried about you.”

“ _Don’t worry about me – Hide you’re –”_

“ _Ken._ ” Hide’s voice was sharp and Kaneki went quiet. “You were _dead_. Your heart stopped _beating_. You had two holes through your _fucking_ head.”

Kaneki could feel tears hitting the top of his hand and his throat felt like it was closing up. “Hide. That – It doesn’t matter. I’m okay. I’ll heal. But you’re – you’re.”

“A human?” He heard Hide swallow thickly, then felt a weight on the bed next to him. Hands cupped his cheeks and Hide spoke softly. “Why do you always do this? I’m not defenceless, Kaneki. I can take care of myself. So please stop worrying about me so much, and spend some time worrying about _yourself_.”

“ _But Hide_ …” He couldn’t talk anymore, his chest was tight and he felt tears stain the bandages over his eyes.

“I know Ken. I know. It’s okay.” Hide laid down beside him and Kaneki nestled his face against his chest, gripping the front of Hide’s shirt as he sobbed. “You take too much on. I know you care so much about all the people you love, but we love you _too._ And we don’t want to see you hurt either.”

Kaneki sobbed harder and as Hide moved closer, he could feel the bandages covered the majority of his right shoulder, and down his arm as well.

“I love you. I want to see you happy… I’ve… spoken with Touka and Yomo. They’re thinking of opening a new coffee shop. Please, stay in hiding with them. The battles you want to fight right now… are impossible to win. Promise me you won’t throw away your life.”

Kaneki nodded against Hide’s chest and he could feel Hide relax around him.

“Thank you.” There were kisses pressed to the top of his head. “ _Thank you_.”

Would it all be okay?


	18. Super Special Kiss

Hide kicked his feet back and forth under the table, watching as his boyfriend scurried around, taking, making and serving orders. He looked good in his Anteiku uniform, despite how awkward he seemed to feel while wearing it, even after so many months. And, after so long, he was finally able to stop wearing his eyepatch as well. Hide liked when he could see both his eyes.

“Here’s your order.” Kaneki set the coffee down in front of Hide, the third cup of the day. There was not as much of a crowd as there was earlier in the morning, while everyone was trying to wake up and get on with their day. So Kaneki hovered, seeing as there were no more customers left for him to serve.

Hide hummed as he blew the steam off it, then took a sip. “It’s good. Thank you, babe.” He heard a snort from Touka as she passed and Kaneki laughed lightly.

“I’m glad you like it.” Kaneki cradled the serving tray against his chest, and Hide wasn’t sure if he was aware of the little swaying motion he was doing, but it was absolutely adorable.

“Teach me.” Hide mumbled into his cup.

“What?” Kaneki tilted his head. “Teach you what?”

“How to make coffee! It would be good for both of us, since, well… you’re moving in with me in a couple weeks. I really suck at making coffee. And I’m always awake before you.” Hide’s grin grew wider as he spoke and Kaneki’s cheeks were reddening.

“Keep your voice down.” Kaneki scolded. “So, then I’m going to teach you how to make coffee, so I don’t have to suffer through drinking toxic sludge every morning?”

“Yep! And also if you teach me, I’ll kiss you.” Hide promised.

Kaneki gave him a weird look. “We kiss all the time anyway.”

“Yes, but this will be a Super Special Kiss.”

Kaneki sighed. “A Super Special Kiss. The most super of all.”

“And special. Don’t forget the special part.” Kaneki was smiling and Hide had to resist the urge to cup his cheeks. Or hug him.

His boyfriend was so cute.

“Ah, yes. Of course. I look forward to it.” Kaneki leaned down and kissed Hide’s forehead, then ruffled his hair as he passed. “Now behave and don’t cause Touka too much trouble.”

“Yes, sir!” Hide called and he swore he saw Kaneki blush all the way to the tips of his ears.


	19. Hide Protects, but also Attacks

Kaneki thought that high school would have _maybe_ been better. But, no. No, it was much worse. In middle school the kids were cruel, but in high school they were _worse_. The attacks were much more physical, leaving Kaneki repeating a constant mantra. _Why me?_

His only savior was Hide, and they thankfully ended up in the same class, given that Hide had studied hard enough to be at the same level as Kaneki. But there were times Hide wasn’t there, and people always took advantage of that. Hide may have been small, but could be _really_ scary, especially when he found out Kaneki had a new bruise.

Kaneki had gone to the library to pick up some books, planning to meet up for lunch in the shade of the tree they always sat under. He had just exited the library, the door closing behind him, when he was pushed from behind, causing him to fall down the two stairs that led up to the library. As he fell, he tried to roll off the impact, but it still caused his shoulder to scream with pain. Gasping, he kept it immobile, trying to gather up all his books with one arm while a mocking voice rang out above him.

Then there was the sound of skin hitting skin and a grunt. Kaneki glanced up to see Hide facing off with the much larger boy, a scowl set into his face. The boy charged at Hide, who simply stepped slightly to the side at the last second, sticking his foot out to catch the bully’s legs, and sent him to the ground.

By then, Kaneki had all his books gathered, and Hide grabbed his wrist, pulling him along. “Let’s go.”

“Hide,” Kaneki gasped. “You could get in trouble…”

“Doesn’t matter.” Once they were far enough away, Hide pushed Kaneki into a bathroom. “Are you okay?” His eyes darted all over the place, landing on a small cut just under Kaneki’s bangs. Kaneki let Hide clean it with soap and water, then pulled a bandage out of his bag to cover it. “You’re holding your shoulder strangely. How bad is it?”

Kaneki shrunk back slightly. “B-bruised. But not anything worse.”

He watched as Hide’s mouth tightened, and then relaxed. “Do you want to go out for ice cream after classes today? My treat.”

“Hide…”

“Kaneki.” Hide soothed, ruffling his hair. “I have some extra money. Let me treat my friend.”

Kaneki nodded hesitantly. “…okay.”

He took Hide’s outstretched hand with a small smile, feeling just a little better.


	20. Sleepy Morning

The smell of coffee was the only thing to lure Hide out of the warm bed. The wood floor was cold under his feet and he winced. Making his way to the kitchen, he realized he could also smell some human food cooking. His eyes bleary, he used to wall to guide him until he reached where Kaneki was standing.

“Good Morning.” Kaneki said lightly as Hide wrapped his arms around him, snuggling his face against Kaneki’s shoulder.

Hide tried to respond, but words tumbled out in a jumbled mess. Kaneki hummed, shuffling over slowly and practically dragging Hide with him.

“Hide, _please_. Use your legs.” Kaneki complained as Hide leaned completely against him, resting all his weight.

Hide groaned. “Can’t feel them. Sleepy.”

There was sigh and Kaneki turned, sweeping Hide’s legs up to carry him to the couch. Too bad for him. Hide linked his arms over Kaneki’s shoulders. There was no way he was letting go now.

“Hide. Off.” Kaneki tried to set him down, but Hide only held him tighter.

“Noooooooo.” He wriggled as Kaneki poked his side, trying to tickle him off.

“Do you want your breakfast to burn or not?” Hide could tell Kaneki gave up on tickling and instead tried persuasion. Sadly, as Hide woke up more, it was working.

With a pout he let go and plopped down and Kaneki quickly pecked him on the lips, then went back to the kitchen. Hide rolled over and buried his face in a pillow, deciding he wasn’t emerging until Kaneki coaxed him.

Which would be nice. He thought of Kaneki’s gentle hands and the way they could drag through his hair, brush across his lips or cup his cheeks. His words could be so soft… thinking of Kaneki’s soothing voice was kind of luring him back to sleep…

“Hide, you’re drooling on the couch.” So much for napping. Hide was nudged into a sitting position and a warm cup of coffee with no milk and lots of sugar was worked into his hands. Kaneki played with his hair as he drank. “I told you staying up so late was a bad idea.”

“It was a good idea. Up until now.” Hide flopped against Kaneki’s side. “But I’m getting lots of cuddles so it’s not so bad.”

“You’re ridiculous.” Kaneki tapped his nose.

Hide grinned. “I’m fucking adorable.”


	21. Let's Go Home

“… _Hide._ ” Kaneki couldn’t believe his eyes. Surely, it was just a hallucination brought by his chronic lack of sleep and blood loss. The was no way Hide was standing right there in front of him, grinning like he always did.

Because Hide was _dead._

Except Hide’s hands closed over one of his, and he could _feel_ the warmth from Hide’s skin. “Please put that down, Ken. It’s all over. You’ve won.”

Hide massaged Kaneki’s fingers, loosening them around the quinque until it fell to the ground with a _clang_. Kaneki watched it as it rolled, stopping when it hit his foot. Quinques were made to kill ghouls, and yet, he had… his eyes flicked up, but quickly returned to Hide’s face. He couldn’t bear to look at Arima’s body. Even after all that happened, all the suffering that man put him through… he still remembered those few good times.

Tears rolled down his cheeks and Hide pulled him into a hug, pressing Kaneki’s face against his shoulder. He couldn’t hold back his sobs as Hide ran his hand up and down his back.

“I thought you were _dead_.” Kaneki managed out. “I thought I _killed_ you.”

“You really expect me to go down so easily, buddy?” Hide made a quiet noise in his throat when his fingers found a deep wound on Kaneki’s back. “I may be a human but I’m a lot tougher than that.”

Kaneki clutched onto Hide’s jacket, not wanting to let go for a moment, terrified if he wasn’t holding onto Hide, that he might disappear. He didn’t think he could bare to lose him again.

“Come on, let’s go home.” Hide stroked his hair, pulling back slightly to look Kaneki in the eyes. “You look like you need a good rest.”

Kaneki let Hide pull him up, keeping their hands connected the whole time.


	22. Bouquet

Kaneki paused at the door with his bouquet, ruffling his hair slightly. He and Hide had been dating for a number of months, Kaneki having moved in one month earlier. It wasn’t their anniversary, or any occasion for that matter, Kaneki just felt like getting Hide flowers. Hide always liked tulips, and the pink and yellow ones Kaneki picked out were especially vibrant.

Kaneki entered, smiling when he saw Hide in the kitchen, making a pot of coffee how Kaneki showed him to. The grinder was on and Hide didn’t hear him open the door, so he shut it silently, creeping up behind him. He hid the flowers behind his back, stepping forward to curl his other arm around Hide’s waist. Hide stiffened momentarily, then leaned back against Kaneki’s chest.

“You’re back,” Hide murmured, tone soft. “I missed you.”

Kaneki hummed. “I got you these.” He brought his other arm around Hide as well, holding the flowers close to Hide’s chest.

Hide made a small, happy noise of surprise. “These will look great with the new lamp.” Kaneki fought back a wince… Hide’s decoration skills were… very colourful and left much to be desired.

Hide wriggled within the circle of Kaneki’s arms, turning just enough to plant a kiss on Kaneki’s cheek. Kaneki dropped his arms as Hide took the flowers, eagerly searching for a vase to put them in. Hide chose a cobalt blue one, but Kaneki had to admit it could have been worse.

Hide placed the vase on an end table, then sat on the couch, beckoning Kaneki to join him. Kaneki sat, about to lean against Hide when he suddenly turned, swinging his leg over to straddle Kaneki’s hips. Kaneki’s hands automatically settled on his hips, gently holding him. Hide put his hands over Kaneki’s shoulders as he scattered kisses all over Kaneki’s face. Hide softly drew his fingers down Kaneki’s chest.

Kaneki’s eyes nearly bulged as Hide’s fingers tickled his sides relentlessly, his knees digging into the couch to keep Kaneki from escaping. A startled laugh burst out. Being much stronger than Hide, Kaneki had no problem lifting him up and switching their positions, his fingers finding their revenge under Hide’s arms and in the crook of his neck. Once Hide was gasping and Kaneki was pleased enough with his work, he pushed Hide – who simply flopped over – to lay across the couch.

Kaneki laid next to him. “I always wonder what you’re thinking when you do that.”

“That it’s worth it to see the look on your face,” Hide huffed, out of breath.

Kaneki just shook his head, relaxing against Hide’s chest as he massaged circles on Kaneki’s back. “Nagachika Hideyoshi, I swear if you tickle me again…”

Hide laughed, the sound light and happy.


	23. Hide's Nightmares

Hide brought his legs to his chest, curling his arms around them as he watched the sunrise. He wished it was the favourite part of his day, that he loved to watch it come up, but he didn’t. If he was there sitting on the steps outside of his and Kaneki’s home before the sun even rose, it was because of his nightmares.

He rarely talked to Kaneki about them. Hide knew what he would think. Hide knew Kaneki would blame himself. Especially if Hide told him what haunted him the most was the encounter they had in the sewers, when he told Kaneki to eat him.

Hide let out a heavy sigh, rubbing his right arm gently. The dull ache of the scars never seemed to fully go away. The ache didn’t bother him as much as the loss of function did, and he knew he was never able to hide that from Kaneki. Too many of his muscles and ligaments had been severed or torn completely away when Kaneki fed from him. Hide learned how to live with it. It certainly wasn’t easy in any way, but he made due. Though, he still longed for the days he could use both arms, no matter how much he tried to not dwell on it.

He tried to not dwell on a lot of things. But, when he laid his head down to sleep, he was awakened far too often by memories – fragmented and twisted to expose his worst fears.

He was sure if he told Kaneki, he would think Hide was afraid of him. That wasn’t true. He knew that there were monsters in their world, and Kaneki wasn’t one of them.

What Hide dreamed wasn’t Kaneki hurting him, it wasn’t of Kaneki being a monster.

Hide dreamed of Kaneki dying in his arms in those god awful sewers. He dreamed what he gave Kaneki to eat wasn’t enough. He watched the dream through the eyes of his own dead corpse, and could see the way Kaneki slumped forward in pain, his eyes wide and bloodshot, his chest trembling as Hide listened to Kaneki take his last breath.

Over and over again Hide watched until he finally woke up gasping for air, not calming until he felt Kaneki’s body, safe and warm beside him.

Hide sat up slightly, rubbing the tears from his cheeks.

Then, he heard a creak directly behind him.

“What the fuck –“ Hide flinched away from the sound, only to see Kaneki holding out what looked like a mug. He also had something tucked under his arm. “Oh. Hi.”

Kaneki hummed a greeting as Hide took the mug in his hands, surprised to see it filled with hot cocoa rather than coffee. Kaneki must have made it special for him. Kaneki draped a blanket over Hide’s shoulders, then made sure it wrapped around his front, leaving his arms free. “You’re shivering.”

“It is kind of chilly out,” Hide murmured. He sipped the cocoa, smiling when he discovered it was just how he liked it made.

Kaneki sat beside him and busied himself by playing with Hide’s hair. “How long have you been up?”

“Not long.” Hide murmured.

By Kaneki’s lack of response, he knew Kaneki could tell he was lying. Hide swallowed thickly, but said no more. Kaneki wrapped an arm around Hide comfortably, and Hide leaned into the contact, resting his head against Kaneki’s shoulder and letting him support his weight. Hide sighed and closed his eyes, feeling Kaneki’s chest expand with each breath, and listening to the sound of his beating heart.


	24. A Relaxing Bath

Kaneki liked being out of the city. It was calm, peaceful, and the air was a lot nicer. It was easier to breath. The trees were so green and he could hear the water rushing in a nearby river, as well as see the mountains in the distance.

And he felt _safe_. There weren’t as many people as there were in the city, and as far as Kaneki knew, he was the only ghoul for miles. It was not only safe for him, but his human partner as well.

He was hardly surprised when he heard running footsteps behind him, and was quickly jumped on, arms wrapping around his shoulders and legs around his waist.

“Why do you always do this?” Kaneki struggled to get a hold on Hide before he slid down.

Hide just grinned. “Because I love you.”

They somehow maneuvered so Hide was facing Kaneki, and he immediately took to rubbing the tip of his nose against Kaneki’s.

“Are you ready for the bath yet?” Hide asked, continuing to nuzzle against Kaneki’s face.

“Yeah, but it was you who wasn’t ready.” Kaneki shook his head. “Did you set up all you want to set up?”

“Yep!” Hide exclaimed. “It’s really nice. It’ll be great, I promise.”

“I never had any doubt.” Kaneki rolled his eyes and carried Hide towards the bathroom, who was kind enough to open the door considering Kaneki had his hands full.

Candles were set up in the room, none of them seeming to match in colour or scent. It was like Kaneki walked into a flower garden. The water of the tub was tinted pink.

Hide peeled himself off Kaneki, only to help him take his clothes off and usher him into the tub.

“Won’t you be joining me?” Kaneki asked, his brow furrowing when he saw Hide only roll up his sleeves.

Hide waved a hand. “In a bit. Let me pamper you for now.”

Kaneki sighed pleasantly when he sank into the water, tilting his head when he felt Hide wet his hair, then start to work shampoo into it. Hide’s fingers massaged his scalp gently and Kaneki let his eyes flutter closed.

Being out of the city was like an escape, and it was almost too good to be true. Like a dream. But, Kaneki and Hide’s scars remained, proof of the things they suffered. Kaneki spent too many nights waking up from nightmares and crying into Hide’s neck, which was covered in bite-mark shaped scars from the horror that transpired between them in the sewers.


	25. Brightening a Room

Hide carried the last box in, setting it down next to the small collection in the corner of the room. Kaneki was finally moving out of his aunt’s place in preparation for his first year at University. He had very few belongings, mostly pertaining to books and a few clothes. His aunt hardly let him take anything else with him.

But, that didn’t seem to ruin Kaneki’s mood. He was happier away from that horrid woman, and Hide could see him wearing a relieved smile. The apartment may have been small, but it was certainly better than what he came from.

A mattress was already thrown on the floor from when they brought things over earlier in the day. Hide stored a few things in his room at home for Kaneki when he was preparing to move out, since there was no way he could’ve stored them at his aunt’s place.

Hide flopped down onto it, snagging Kaneki’s leg as he went down. He heard a gasp of surprise, then Kaneki fell on top of him, knocking the breath out of both of them. Hide’s chest was heaving with laughter before he could even breathe. Soon after, Kaneki joined him.

His laughter sounded much lighter, free. Hide was happy for him.

As their laughter died down, Kaneki sighed, adjusting himself so he rested beside Hide, rather than being draped over him. Hide nuzzled against his chest.

“What do you think of the place?” Kaneki asked, absently tousling Hide’s hair.

Hide laughed. “I think it’s nice. Could use a little colour though.”

“God forbid I let you attempt to decorate.” Kaneki scoffed, as if the idea horrified him.

Hide snorted. “Or, you know, maybe I could just come over often. Super often.”

“Oh.” Kaneki cleared his throat, and Hide swore he could feel Kaneki’s blush warm his chest. “That would work too, I guess.”


	26. Pre-Canon Soulmate AU

His mother’s funeral was three days earlier. Kaneki was supposed to be packing up and getting ready to move all his things into his aunt’s house. There weren’t many things that he owned and he already packed them all. He would have rather not to, but he didn’t want to be a burden on anyone.

Kaneki was expected to go back to school that afternoon, but the thought made him feel sick. How could he go back to his normal life after…?

But he had to. It would make it harder on everyone else if he didn’t, so he had to. His schoolbag was packed and ready. He dressed himself and left, walking to his school like nothing ever happened. Everything else was the same, and he could almost convince himself nothing changed.

Almost.

Kaneki was almost at school when he finally found himself being lifted up and spun in a dizzying circle. He yelped in surprise, then he heard some laughter as he was gently set down and arms wrapped around his shoulders. Hide jumped up, kicking his feet.

“Not to worry you, but you have a Hide on your back!” Hide held on for a few more seconds, then released Kaneki, spinning him around so they were facing each other.

Kaneki could usually sense where his soulmate was, but he was oblivious that day. He hadn’t even been paying attention to where his soulmate was. Kaneki felt awful.

Except Hide just grinned. “It’s been a while since I’ve been able to sneak up on you like that!” Hide pulled Kaneki into a tight hug, nuzzling against his neck and ruffling Kaneki’s hair. Then he spoke in a much quieter, serious voice. “How are you holding up?”

Kaneki wasn’t expecting to cry. He fought it for so long, but it all just poured out. He clung onto Hide’s shoulders. He really didn’t want to go to school to face everyone there. He just wanted to be with Hide.

“Let’s skip class.” Hide whispered. “Head to the park and sit and talk for a bit. Then we can go back to my house. We can grab something to eat and play some games.”

“Hide…” Kaneki mumbled.

Hide hummed, “Do you want to? I’ll take care of everything. Don’t worry about it.”

“I – I want to, but… I don’t want to inconvenience you…”

“Kaneki.” Hide pulled back and tapped him on the nose. “You won’t be inconveniencing me. I want to do this for you, okay?”

Kaneki hesitated for a few moments before he nodded. Hide took his hand, carefully pulling him along, his grip warm and reassuring.


	27. TW: Self-Harm

The pain was comforting, in a strange way. Kaneki heard so many other stories from people who cut, people who cut because they couldn’t feel anything. People who cut because they wanted to feel _something_.

Kaneki cut because he felt too much. It felt like sometimes it was the only way to calm his raging emotions, the only thing that cleared his mind and made him able to think again. He was far too easily lost in his own sadness, in his own _anger_ , frustrated with the fucked up world he lived in. He wanted to cry, he wanted to lash out, but never did he want to hurt others. So he did the only thing he could think of. Hurt himself instead. In the place of expressing those emotions, he internalized them and inflicted all his sadness and anger on himself.

At the very least, it kept him going, allowed him to breath. Each cut that marked his skin freed him a little more. Every drop of blood that left his body helped him relax his jaw and evened his breath out.

Finally, he put the small knife down on his knee, staring at those thin lines. With both awe and disgust, he traced his thumb along them, smearing the blood more so.

Then he heard the front door open.

Hide wasn’t supposed to be there so early. Kaneki was sure he had given himself enough time, but he still heard Hide announce his entry.

The knife dropped onto the bed between his crossed legs and his sucked in a panicked breath, every trace of the calm he had seconds ago vanished. He could pull down the long sleeves on his shirt to hide the wounds like he usually did, but that wouldn’t hide the blood on his hands.

“Yo! Kaneki! My prof was sick and the class was cancelled.” The door to his bedroom opened and Kaneki’s wide, terrified eyes met Hide’s. Kaneki saw Hide’s grin drop as he saw his expression, then his gaze dropped to his bloody wrists. Kaneki squeezed his eyes shut, curling over and holding his arms against his chest to hide the wounds even when Hide already saw them. Distantly, he heard the sound of Hide’s backpack hitting the floor.

Kaneki felt Hide’s weight next to him before an arm wrapped around his shoulders, then fingers ran through his hair. “Come with me.” He gently guided Kaneki off the bed, and Kaneki went without a word. Hide walked him to the bathroom, then got Kaneki to sit on the edge of the tub.

As Hide sifted through his cabinets, Kaneki began to get worried by how quiet Hide was. Kaneki cautiously stole a glance at Hide’s face, his breath hitching when he saw how tight Hide’s jaw was. Was he angry? Kaneki felt his throat tighten and tears pool in his eyes.

“I’m sorry.” Kaneki whispered. “I’m sorry.”

“Hey.” Hide cupped Kaneki’s face. “I’m not upset with you. I just… wish I noticed earlier.” Hide took a deep, shuddering breath, then used a towel to start cleaning the blood from Kaneki’s wrists and hands. “How long…?”

Kaneki just shook his head and Hide nodded.

“Have you talked to anyone about this?” Kaneki winced as Hide started disinfecting the cuts carefully.

Kaneki mutely shook his head again.

Hide didn’t speak again until he finished bandaging Kaneki’s wrists. “Can you make me a promise then?” Hide held Kaneki’s hands in his own, gently running his thumbs over his knuckles.

Kaneki swallowed thickly. “Yeah,” he choked out.

Hide smiled, pulling Kaneki into a hug. “We’re going to find you some help, okay?” He rubbed Kaneki’s back soothingly. “You’re not alone with this.”

“Okay.” Kaneki clutched at Hide’s shoulders, not sure whether to be relieved or not.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Based on my own personal experiences with the matter, although I did change a bit to keep a healthy distance from the piece. Things are much better now, I assure you. 
> 
> Things are more difficult now than usual for many people. I urge everyone to take care of themselves the best they can, and also seek help if you are unable to.


	28. University Soulmate AU

Kaneki waited to hear those words printed on his right arm for so many years. The first words he would ever hear his soulmate say.

“Fuck this course!”

Admittedly, Kaneki heard those words before. Though when he approached the person and asked, all he got was a shake of the head. Kaneki used careful words when asking, something unique so his soulmate could be sure it was him.

As time kept on and Kaneki passed out of high school and into university, he grew more and more nervous. He was even more nervous because when he looked at the man who just uttered those words, his heart rate picked up and he _knew._

Kaneki rung his hands as he walked up to the man, who after his outburst, continued to have his head buried in the textbook. All words Kaneki planned to say left his head. “You’re really colourful,” he mumbled.

The man jolted, then glanced up, staring at Kaneki.

“Uhm.” Kaneki rolled up his sleeve, showing the man the words he carried there for his whole life (also why he always wore long-sleeved shirts).

The man stared at the words for a few seconds. “Am I dreaming?”

“I don’t think so.” Kaneki hastily pulled his sleeve down and folding his arms around his chest self-consciously.

Then the man practically launched at him over the table, wrapping his arms around Kaneki’s waist as he ended up laying on top of all his schoolwork. He grinned up at Kaneki. “My name is Nagachika Hideyoshi, but call me Hide. Oh – and uh – sorry that my first words were so…”

“I’m Kaneki Ken, and it’s fine. I guess.” After a year or so they would disappear…

“I have so many things to tell you!” Hide sat up and pulled himself to the edge of the table, deciding to stand when he nearly flipped the whole thing. “I don’t even know where to start!”

“Yeah…” Kaneki agreed, reaching for his phone so they could exchange numbers… and being as loud as they were, they should’ve left the library.

As Hide typed his number into Kaneki’s phone, his eyes glittered with mirth. “Well, I guess I could start by telling you how cute you are.”


	29. Partner in Crime

They said when you met your soulmate, the world exploded with colour. Kaneki had never seen colour. And he watched so many people around him find the person they were meant to be with. The world remained monochrome for Kaneki throughout high school, and he began to wonder if he was ever going to meet the person who was supposed to compliment him perfectly…

It happened at university.

Kaneki was walking around campus, heading home with his books to study for the exam he had a few days later. The ground was dry, so he decided to take a shortcut, not bothering to stick to paths. He was walking past some bushes when he tripped over something, just catching himself before he fell.

When he turned to see what it was, he saw a leg, and following its path, his eyes rested on a man’s face.

Then he could _see._ The colours almost hurt his eyes and made the world look so busy. Than man below him especially seemed to be covered in every colour possible and every single one of them clashed horribly.

“Oh. My. God.” The man grinned, then waved for Kaneki to join him on the ground.

Kaneki cautiously did so, careful to not get his knees dirty. “What are you doing?”

“Shhh.” The man spoke quietly. “Be my partner in crime.”

 _“What?”_ Kaneki hissed, keeping his voice low as he hid behind the bush.

“I pissed one of the upperclassmen off because I accidently spilt his coffee all over him and now I need someone to hide me.” The man poked his head out and glanced around.

Kaneki grabbed the back of his shirt and yanked him back down. “How am I supposed to hide you while you look like _that_.”

“By keeping me company!” The man grinned and Kaneki sighed in defeat.

“Then what?” He couldn’t help but smile too.

“Then I take you out for coffee or dinner and we talk! I’m Hide, by the way.” Hide was practically bouncing. “Oh _man_ , I can’t _wait._ ”


	30. Sleepy Soulmate

Kaneki loved lazy mornings. When he didn’t have to rush to get out of bed, and he could bask in the enjoyment of Hide’s embrace. It was warm in his arms, and Kaneki could hear the steady heartbeat in his chest, and the way his chest moved every time he breathed. Kaneki matched his breath to his, and wondered if their hearts beat in sync.

After all, they were soulmates. They completed and brought out the best in each other.

Hide’s arms tightened around him and Kaneki felt little jolts of electricity run up his spine, making him hyperaware of any of Hide’s movements. Wriggling an arm out of Hide’s crushing hug, he placed his palm against Hide’s cheek.

His skin was naturally dark, also golden from the sun, with little freckles he got every summer dusted across the entirety of his face. As Kaneki admired them, Hide shifted in his sleep, and he was worried for a moment that he woke him. After a few seconds, Kaneki went back to examining Hide’s face. He didn’t think he could ever get tired of it. Every year new constellations spotted Hide’s skin and Kaneki enjoyed tracing them with his eyes, or his fingers.

“How long you’ve been up?” Hide’s voice was slurred as he spoke, his eyes fluttering open to look into Kaneki’s. He noticed Kaneki’s hand by his face and tilted his head into it, sighing.

“Not too long,” Kaneki whispered. “You can go back to sleep.”

“Don’t wanna.” Hide nudged Kaneki’s hand with his head again. Kaneki smiled, then began slowly carding his fingers through Hide’s hair, soothing out the wild mess the best he could. It looked like he needed a haircut.

“Mmhmm.” Kaneki pecked Hide on the lips. “That’s why your eyes are closed again.”

“Just resting them,” Hide murmured.

Kaneki continued humming, some song he knew Hide liked, but couldn’t place a name to. It wasn’t long before Hide was out again, snoring lightly.

“Love you.” Kaneki whispered before finally sliding out of the embrace, deciding to put on some coffee and maybe read the next chapter of his book while Hide rested.


	31. On Borrowed Time

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TW: Major Character Death

Hide found his soulmate at a young age. It usually didn’t happen until people were much older, perhaps in their late teens or early twenties, but Hide found his while he was still in the early years of school.

Every person was born with a specific mark on their left or right palm. Their soulmate had an exact, mirrored replica of that mark. Some marks were sharp, with jagged lines, dead ends. Some were spiraling, filled with curves and circles. Some contained different opaque shapes. The marks even came in different colours. But, soulmates’ marks always matched exactly, each as unique as a fingerprint.

When he saw Kaneki that first day, he recognized the mark immediately, and he couldn’t be any happier. Hide always made a point of holding hands, pressing the marks together.

As he took Kaneki’s hand one last time, Kaneki’s eyes teared. “Why do you always do this?” Kaneki’s hand tightened around his, a comforting pressure.

Hide swallowed thickly, trying to speak through his sore throat. “Because it’s proof we were made for each other.” Hide threaded their fingers together. “A perfect match.”

Kaneki shakily exhaled. “Destiny bound.”

“Destiny bound,” Hide agreed. “I’m sorry. I thought since we met so young… we would have more time together.” He thought they were so lucky.

Hide couldn’t have been any more wrong.

Hide felt Kaneki bring their joined hands close to his face, gently kissing the back of Hide’s hand. The blood on Kaneki’s mouth smeared there, and Hide saw his face contort in agony.

“It’s okay,” he whispered, his voice sounding much weaker than before. “It was my choice.” Such a selfish choice. He couldn’t bear to live without Kaneki, and instead pushed the burden of his own death on Kaneki. “I’m sorry. I’m so sorry.” The aching where Kaneki fed on him was beginning to fade. He knew it wasn’t a good thing, but he couldn’t help the feeling of peace that overcame him.

“Hide, I _love you_. Please don’t die… don’t…”

Hide wished he had the energy to respond, to say one more thing, to hang on for just a few more seconds, to have just a few more seconds with the person he loved the most in the world.

Instead, his vision faded to black, only leaving him with the sound of Kaneki’s distressed sobs and pleads.


	32. Basketball AU

Number twelve. The person Hide was supposed to guard on the opposing team. Hide wasn’t originally assigned to him, rather, the coach had him switch, being the fasted person on the team. Number twelve was hard to keep up with, _even for Hide_. Which, was saying something. Hide prided himself on his speed, but no matter how hard he ran, he could only just barely catch up with the boy _half_ the time. He didn’t get any rest the whole time he was playing, and by the time the game was done, the opposing team having won, Hide felt like was going to collapse. He would have lied down right there on the court if there wasn’t another game following theirs.

Hide dragged his feet while changing, feeling dead on his feet. He stopped by the water fountain for some juice since he drank all his water during the match. He was lucky enough to have some money on him. He jammed the straw into the juice with agitation, taking his frustration out on the inanimate object.

It certainly wasn’t their first loss of the season, nor would it be their last. But, that didn’t make him feel any better about losing the game that day. He sighed, deciding it was about time to get home. His parents were probably waiting for him.

As he strolled down the hallway, he saw a figure with white hair with his back to Hide. White wasn’t exactly a common hair colour. Even with all the bleaching Hide put his hair through, it never got that pale.

He would be lying if he said he hadn’t noticed how attractive number twelve was. With a grin, Hide approached him. “Hey, my name is Hide. You're really - uh - handsome.”

The boy spun, and though his cheeks were already red with exertion from the match, Hide could see them flush darker. “W-what?”

Hide coughed. “Ah, sorry.” Saying he wasn’t sure how to approach cute guys was an understatement. But, he tried to do what he usually did, rely on confidence and his ability to read people. It seemed number twelve wasn’t as confident off the court as he was on it. He was shy, and reserved. “My name is Hide. I guarded you during the match.”

“I recognize you.” He answered cautiously.

Hide grinned. “So I am as memorable as I think I am!” Hide watched as the emotions mixed on the boy’s face. There was still caution, but there was also curiosity in his eyes. Then there was the lift of his eyebrows and the way his mouth twitched. Was he amused? “I was wondering if I could get your name.” _And maybe your number._

“I’m Kaneki Ken.” Kaneki rubbed the back of his head nervously.

“Kaneki.” Hide liked the sound of his name. “Do you happen to like hamburgers?”

~<3<3<3~

Kaneki was still running on adrenaline from the intense game. He hadn’t been challenged like that all season, and he loved the feeling of burning muscle that was beginning to fade into a dull ache. He stretched, raising up onto his tiptoes as he arched his back, throwing one arm across his body and pushing on it with the other. He switched to stretching the other arm, rocking back and forth to his heels. Kaneki heard footsteps behind him, and was about to turn just before he heard a voice.

“Hey, my name is Hide. You're really - uh - handsome."

Kaneki spun, feeling his cheeks heat. His jaw dropped momentarily before he snapped his mouth back shut. “W-what?”

The blond coughed. “Ah, sorry.” The blond shuffled his feet, glancing down at them before he spoke again, far more gently, his tone more honest, though just as steady with confidence as it originally was. “My name is Hide. I guarded you during the match.” The boy’s eyes were sharp, like he was always alert and watching, though his stare wasn’t predatory, but calming. Hide seemed like someone who would always have his friends’ backs.

“I recognize you.” He gave Kaneki quite a hard time, though pushing himself to new lengths was something Kaneki always enjoyed. Now that he had the time, he took a closer look at the bleached blond hair and the tanned skin dotted with freckles all over, as well as the slightly obnoxious, but endearing grin.

“So I am as memorable as I think I am!” Kaneki almost snorted, restraining his laughter. Hide was interesting, and though Kaneki would be embarrassed to admit, he was rather attractive. Though he was from a rival team, Kaneki wouldn’t mind to get to know him better. Actually, he really wanted to. “I was wondering if I could get your name.” Kaneki’s heart jumped at that, and he tried to conceal the small smile that was fighting its way to his lips.

“I’m Kaneki Ken.” He scratched the back of his head, desperate to have his hands doing something.

“Kaneki.” Hide tried out his name and Kaneki blushed harder, realizing how nice it sounded when Hide said it. “Do you happen to like hamburgers?”

“Y-yes.” Kaneki murmured quietly. “I do.”


	33. Volleyball AU

Hide usually stayed late after practice, setting the volleyball above his head, sending it over a little ways, then running to set it again just before it hit the ground, always pushing his limits, always improving. If he wanted to stay on the court as the main setter, he had to constantly improve, never fall behind. Yet, he was putting in a lot more work recently.

His friends teased him, knowing his reasons from the constant glances sent towards the bleachers during games, and they asked Hide what girl he had his eyes on. Except _he_ wasn’t a _girl_ , which Hide was a little nervous to admit, since not many people knew about his sexuality.

Hide noticed the same cute boy sitting in the farthest corner in the back row, at every. Single. Game. Hide thought his crush was a little ridiculous. He didn’t even know the guy. Though his less logical side argued he could tell a lot from his gestures and behavior. Explanations and excuses.

Hide yelped as the ball suddenly smacked him in the face. He winced, rubbing his nose with a grimace as the volleyball rolled off somewhere.

“Uh.” There was a timid voice to Hide’s left and he tilted his head, nearly choking at who he saw. There was the cutie, his crush, standing there with a book clutched to his chest and a concerned expression. “Are you okay?”

“Yeah.” Hide was one of the few people at the school so late, and was really surprised to see his crush there. “You stay this late?”

At the question, the boy looked uncomfortable, his shoulders rising and his chin dropping like he was trying to hide behind his books. “Y-yes.”

Hide grinned, trying to make his stature as relaxed as he could. “My name is Nagachika Hideyoshi! But you can just call me Hide!”

The boy blinked slowly. “Kaneki Ken.” _Finally_ , he had the name of his crush. _Kaneki ken._ Hide liked the name.

Hide bounded up with a grin, and Kaneki shied away just a tad, but he gave a genuine smile. “Do you like volleyball? I see you at a lot of games! Do you want me to teach you some moves?”

“Teach me?” Kaneki shook his head. “I’m not good at sports.”

“I’m going to set the ball to you! Just try to hit it!” Hide ran and picked the ball up.

“Wait! Hide!” Kaneki carefully put his bag and books down, and the ball was already in the air. Hide watched as Kaneki went to hit it, and it looked like he would be successful, until his left foot caught behind his right and he tumbled to the ground.

“Ouch.” Hide ran up to check on him. “You good, buddy?”

Kaneki had a little dirt on his cheek, but other than that, seemed okay. “Told you I wasn’t good.”

“Then let’s go somewhere else! I should make it up to you since you fell.” Hide helped him up. “Do you like coffee?”

~<3<3<3~

Kaneki started sitting closer to the front during Hide’s games. The thought brought Hide happiness, a giddiness that only made him play harder, though he was slightly less focused. He hoped no one could tell.

They won the game, having only played two sets. The win left Hide buzzing with excitement. He celebrated momentarily with his team in the locker room, far more excited to meet up with Kaneki. He left quickly and bounded around, searching for Kaneki’s familiar face among the crowd, but it was always hard to find the shorter boy.

“Hide.” There was a timid voice from behind him, and Hide spun with a grin.

“Did you see that last set up? Wasn’t it perfect!?” Hide exclaimed, waiting eagerly for Kaneki’s response.

“Uhm.” Kaneki twisted his fingers together in front of him. “I don’t know that much about volleyball, so I think you would know best…”

Hide grabbed Kaneki’s shoulders. “Okay, but I looked pretty cool, right? Right?”

“I-I guess.” Kaneki rubbed his chin. “It’s really loud here, could we go somewhere else?”

Hide nodded enthusiastically. Kaneki seemed a lot more comfortable when he was finally free of the crowd, and his shoulders were more relaxed, his smile natural. Hide threw his hands behind his head, giving Kaneki some time with silence. It seemed like he was thinking hard about something.

The came to the spot where Kaneki and Hide first talked, and Kaneki pulled up short, surprised he walked there automatically. Then he turned to Hide, clearing his throat quietly. Hide could see the red blossoming across Kaneki’s cheeks and swallowed thickly.

“Hide – I. I don’t know if you’ll return my feelings, and if you want we can forget I ever said this…” Kaneki’s voice was either growing quieter or Hide’s heartbeat was suddenly louder. “I like you. As more than a friend.”

Hide’s grin hurt his cheeks. “I’ve had a crush on you for so long, you have no idea.”

Kaneki’s eyes widened, and his mouth opened, but no sound came out.

Hide closed the distance between them slowly, watching Kaneki’s face closely. “Oh, ‘neki. Can I kiss you?”

Kaneki nodded, seeming dazed. Hide slid his fingers under Kaneki’s chin, tilting his head just right for their lips to connect.


	34. Pure Fluff

Kaneki dropped down onto the bed, spent. He spent all night patrolling, staying out a little longer than usual out of paranoia. After showering, being covered in sweat and grime from the city, he collapsed face-first into bed, his hair still wet. Hide was still up, playing some game on his phone. As soon as Kaneki fell, shaking the whole bed, Hide put the phone down.

“Hey, Ken.” Hide’s hands slid to his shoulders, squeezing gently. “I missed you.”

Kaneki hummed. “I missed you too.” He sighed quietly, rolling his shoulders against Hide’s hands. He turned his head, peeking up towards Hide.

Hide was smiling, his fingers working through the knots in Kaneki’s muscles. “Did something happen?”

“No.” Kaneki shook his head. “It’s just…” Kaneki trailed off, letting his eyes slide shut.

Hide leaned down, kissing Kaneki’s eyelid. “I understand.”

“Thank you,” Kaneki murmured. He turned over, facing Hide, who had moved his arms to be planted on either side of Kaneki’s head.

Hide covered Kaneki’s faces with kisses, speaking between them. “I’ll always be here waiting for you, so just make sure you come back, okay?”

“Okay,” Kaneki caught Hide’s lips with his own. He wrapped his arms around Hide’s waist, pulling him down on top of him.

“I mean it,” Hide said, settling his head against Kaneki’s shoulder. “Don’t do anything stupid.”

“Okay,” Kaneki mumbled again, tangling their legs together.

Hide shifted his position, scrambling to crawl up further, digging his knee into Kaneki’s thigh in the process. As Kaneki grunted, Hide murmured an apology. “Sorry, but this is much better, isn’t it?”

Hide’s nose brushed Kaneki’s and their eyes were level, so Kaneki could see the way Hide’s eyes twinkled. He reached up, brushing his fingers along Hide’s cheek before cupping it. Hide leaned into the touch, his handing moving to cover Kaneki’s tenderly.

“Love you, ‘neki.” Hide said, closing his eyelids.

Kaneki kissed him again. “Love you too.”


	35. Hide is Klutzy and needs Cuddles

Hide was late. _Hours late_. Kaneki waited up for him, only receiving a vague text telling Kaneki that Hide would be home late and not to worry. Right, _not to worry_. It wasn’t like Kaneki could help it. He propped himself up with some pillows and sat with a book in his lap even if he wasn’t reading. Kaneki continuously cracked his fingers then ran them through his white hair.

The door knob turned and Kaneki watched without amusement as Hide obviously tried to sneak in, probably thinking Kaneki was sleeping. When Hide turned, he jumped, but his expression became quickly resigned.

“Hey, Ken.” Hide waved nervously, obviously trying to hide something behind his back. His smile was bright, but pained.

Kaneki stood, making his way over to Hide with a sigh. “What happened?” He touched Hide’s left elbow, gently guiding him to stop hiding the cast covering his forearm.

“I fell. It was nothing. I’m just clumsy.” Hide winced as he rotated the arm. He really didn’t do well with pain.

Kaneki shook his head, eyeing the cast and then Hide’s expression again. “Do you want a hug?” Kaneki smiled kindly, holding out his arms.

Hide immediately went into them. “How could I refuse? I think I need a hug.” Hide pressed his face against Kaneki’s chest, sighing pleasantly. “What are you okay with tonight?”

“Lots and lots of cuddles.” Kaneki tightened his arms around Hide. “Pampering my klutzy boyfriend and maybe some kisses.”

Hide hummed. “Sweet little kisses?”

“Definitely some of those.” Kaneki pulled back a little so he could scatter kisses across Hide’s face, making him flush.

Hide bumped their noses together lightly. “Yeah?”

“Yeah.” Kaneki affirmed, holding out his hand to Hide. “Now come rest in bed and let me take care of you.”

“I can’t pass up an offer like that.” Hide took Kaneki’s hand, smiling.


	36. Yet Another Post-Anteiku Raid Canon Divergence

The last thing Kaneki remembered was collapsing beside Arima, all of his muscles seeming to give out at once. He hit the ground with a harsh thud. His kagune disintegrated, his vision fading to one colour. Then everything went black.

He wasn’t expecting to wake up again, and even if he did, he was sure it would have been in Cochlea. Except it wasn’t. He was in a bed, a tingling feeling letting him know his limbs were regenerating and he was probably fed while he was asleep.

He recognized the smell of coffee that only could have been made by Touka and the faint sounds of Tokyo’s streets. Beside him, he also heard faint breathing. Turning his head, he almost didn’t recognize him at first, his longer brown hair partially obscuring his face.

Kaneki _was_ dead, wasn’t he? Because there was no way… there was no way Hide could be there.

Kaneki reached out to him, only to realize his arm was still a stump and it fell much too short. Kaneki must have made a noise, because Hide’s eyes fluttered open, focusing slowly on Kaneki’s face.

“You’re awake.” Hide’s hands fluttered over him, then very hesitantly, he cupped Kaneki’s cheek. “You’re okay.”

“H-Hide. What…” Kaneki could feel his whole body shaking, tears beginning to pool in his eyes. “I… _Hide_.”

Hide was hesitant to do too much with all the bandages covering Kaneki’s body, but he gathered him into his arms anyway, his chest tightening when he only heard Kaneki’s crying intensify.

“I th-thought you were dead.” Kaneki sobbed out. “I thought I killed you.”

“Oh, Ken.” Hide slowly climbed onto the bed with Kaneki, careful to not bump his still healing limbs. “I’m here. I’m here.”

Kaneki struggled to get closer, to press his ear against Hide’s chest and hear the beating of his heart himself. Thankfully, Hide seemed to understand, pulling Kaneki to his chest and stroking his hair.

“It’s all okay.” Hide hummed. He watched as Kaneki’s eyes began to droop. “You need to sleep, buddy. I promise I’ll be here when you wake up, okay?”

Kaneki nodded numbly, letting himself fall back asleep in Hide’s arms.


	37. Glad You're Alive

Kaneki was drowning. Darkness swirled around him. Bursts of colour appeared, but they slipped away before he could reach them. He saw waves of purple. Tendrils brushed out, touching his arms, his chest, and his face. They wrapped around his wrists and his neck, suffocating. There was a voice in his ear, murmuring his name over and over again until the sound jumbled together, like a scuffling. Like that centipede. The tendrils turned into metal cuffs, chains dragging noisily on the ground behind him.

It was only then that he realized he was walking. He tried to move his feet differently, to move at a different speed in a different direction, but he continued steadily forward.

The area around him lightened, allowing him to just see the ground beneath his feet. He saw the red flowers, oozing blood as Kaneki stepped on them. As Kaneki walked further, the blood came up to his ankles, and then his knees.

Kaneki felt a chill as he saw someone floating face-down in the blood, the blond hair easily recognizable even if it was stained red. When he reached him, Kaneki’s legs collapsed, causing a wave to ripple through the blood. Hide bobbed limply, and Kaneki scooped him up shakily.

“Hide? Hide please.” Kaneki placed Hide’s head in his lap, wiping some of the blood off his face. “Oh _god. Oh god._ Hide?” His voice was trembling and the darkness seemed to close around the two of them, a pressing weight. _“Help me! Please! Someone help!”_

“ _Kaneki_.”

Kaneki gasped as hands grabbed his shoulders and shook him awake. He shot upwards, hands scrabbling for purchase in the bedsheets. His eyes flicked about the room as he took in his surroundings. A tidy room with numerous bookshelves and dark blue curtains covering the windows. His cheeks were cupped with warm palms and he glanced up, seeing Hide’s face. Hide was smiling gently, wiping tears from Kaneki’s eyes.

Kaneki’s throat constricted and he felt the incredible urge to start crying again. He tackled Hide, knocking him down on the bed. Hide grunted as he landed, Kaneki splayed across his chest. He twisted his fingers in the fabric of Hide’s shirt, shaking. “ _Hide…_ ”

“It’s okay, ‘Neki. I’m here.” Hide spoke softly, rubbing Kaneki’s back. “It’s okay.”

Kaneki nodded briskly, breathing in the scent of Hide’s laundry detergent and body wash. Hide held him tightly, his hands folding reassuringly on the small of Kaneki’s back.

“I’m so glad you’re here,” Kaneki mumbled. “I’m so glad you’re alive.”

Hide hummed, pulling Kaneki even closer to him. Close enough he could feel his heart pounding. “I’m right here. I’m alive.” Hide brushed his lips against the top of Kaneki’s head and his breath hitched.

“Stay with me?” Kaneki asked, his voice thick.

Hide pulled the covers over them. “Of course.”


	38. Twisted Blade

Kaneki sat in his apartment, food scattered all about. Kaneki was frantic trying to find something he could eat and made the place an utter mess. There were tears running down his face, the knife he tried to use on himself mangled by his side.

Numbly, he attempted to clean up, throwing the food away and cleaning up what fell on the floor. When it looked decent, Kaneki cleaned himself up, losing himself in the methodical work. However, as soon as he stopped, the pit in his stomach grew again and his throat felt tight.

Kaneki scrambled for his phone, calling the only person he could think of.

Hide picked up on the second ring. “Yo, Kaneki. What’s up? It’s been _forever_. How are you?”

Kaneki swallowed thickly, trying to make his voice understandable. “ _Hide, help me. Please. I – I – “_

“Kaneki. Where are you?” Hide sounded urgent, worried, and Kaneki felt guilty just hearing him.

“ _Home._ ” Kaneki gasped. “ _I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have called._ ”

“I’ll be there.” Hide said. “Give me a few minutes.”

Kaneki waited on his couch, his hands tucked between his knees. There wasn’t even a knock on the door before Hide burst in, his expression frantic.

“Kaneki? What’s wrong? Are you okay?” Hide ran towards him, dropping to his knees in front of him. He cupped Kaneki’s cheeks and inspecting his tear-swollen face. “What happened?”

Kaneki wanted to tell him, he wanted to tell him so bad. But the words rose to his throat and choked him. All that came out was a weak sob as Hide pulled him into a hug, tucking Kaneki’s head against his shoulder. “I’m sorry.”

“It’s okay, Ken.” Hide murmured, stroking his hair. “Talk to me.”

Kaneki shook his head. “I can’t – not right now.”

Hide remained silent for a few seconds. “Okay,” he finally murmured. “We’ll talk later.”

“Thank you, Hide… _thank you_.”

Kaneki, exhausted and spent, fell asleep minutes later, tightly hanging onto Hide. He carried Kaneki to bed, covering him with blankets when he started shaking. When Hide retreated to the living room to make sure the door was locked for the night, he noticed the glint of something metallic on the kitchen counter. After a second look, Hide gently traced the back of the twisted blade.


	39. Needing a Hug

Kaneki flopped down after the long day at Anteiku. They had a lot of customers that day and it really didn’t help that Hide was hanging around the whole time, charged with so much coffee he was practically bouncing.

Kaneki did appreciate his presence though. Despite how energetic Hide was, he helped keep Kaneki calm throughout the day. That is, up until Hide left to do some errands.

At least, when Hide was there, Kaneki forgot somewhat about his predicament. It wasn’t like the stress from being turned into a ghoul was gone, it was just that Hide left like a little stray sunlight bursting through the dark clouds of a storm, offering him some comfort and a breath of fresh air.

Kaneki headed home and was getting ready for a shower when there was a knock on his door. Scrambling up, he ran through some possibilities in his head. Had he forgotten to pay rent? He could sometimes be forgetful, but was never that bad. And what if it was the CCG? What if they somehow found out he was a ghoul and were coming to kill him?

Kaneki swallowed thickly and opened the door, only to reveal a familiar face and blond hair. “Hey buddy.” Hide brushed past him, a few plastic bags in his hands. “You’re not looking like you’re eating well, so I thought I’d grab us some supper!”

Kaneki looked at the bags with despair. “Oh.” He slowly made his way back to the couch, sitting back down. “I’m sorry Hide, I’m still feeling sick.”

Hide looked like he was about to argue, but then he smiled and nodded. “Okay! I’ll put it in your fridge for later!”

“But what about you?” Kaneki didn’t want Hide to not eat just because he couldn’t.

Hide waved a hand. “I don’t need food right now. In fact, I think I need a hug.”

“A hug?” Kaneki asked. Hide nodded his head and then sat beside Kaneki, holding his arms out. Kaneki leaned into them, then wrapped his arms around Hide as well.

“Hey, ‘neki?” Hide hummed.

Kaneki turned his head towards Hide’s. “Yeah?”

“It’s going to be okay.” Hide’s arms tightened around Kaneki, his words sounding confident. “You know I’m always here for you. No matter what it is.”

Kaneki felt tears gathering in his eyes and he quickly turned his face back towards Hide’s chest, pressing it into the soft material of his sweater, nodding weakly.


	40. Comfort

Hide’s arms were warm around him, wrapped around Kaneki’s waist. Kaneki buried himself further into the embrace, feeling Hide twitch in his sleep. Hide mumbled under his breath and held Kaneki tighter, as if sensing what Kaneki needed even when he was asleep. Kaneki knew that wasn’t true, that Hide couldn’t possibly know, but it was a nice thought none the less. Especially when he longed for Hide’s comfort.

Hide could say so many words to Kaneki, so many different things to calm Kaneki’s stress and reassure him. He could whisper softly, run his fingers through Kaneki’s hair and give Kaneki all the attention he wanted. All the attention he needed. He could hold Kaneki for hours, watch crappy movies with him and babble on and on about his day just to distract Kaneki from his own thoughts. Hide could read to Kaneki until his voice was hoarse, Kaneki’s head rested in his lap, his fingers lightly tracing up and down his back. Hide would wrap Kaneki in a blanket, cuddle him and bring him coffee until he felt better. He could run a bath, wash Kaneki’s hair for him and massage his scalp until it felt like all the tension had left him.

Hide did so many things for him, all on a regular basis.

But sometimes, all Kaneki needed was for Hide to be beside him, to feel his skin against his body and hear the sound of his breathing and his heart beating. Sometimes, Kaneki just needed the comfort in knowing that Hide was there beside him, alive, and happy. He just needed to be there with him, knowing that Hide would keep accepting him back into his arms, even after everything. Sometimes, Kaneki just needed the comfort in knowing that he was loved by the person he loved.


	41. Afraid of the Dark

Sometimes Hide felt childish, not being able to sleep without a nightlight. But the dim blue light brought him comfort and allowed him to sleep easy. He was worried for others to know, but Kaneki never judged him. When they were fourteen, sensing Hide’s discomfort, Kaneki made a number of cut-outs to place over the light, scattering patterns across the ceiling.

At nineteen years old, Hide still had the same nightlight in his new apartment. Kaneki brought him a new cover every once in a while, and he brought one that day as well, making little blue flowers appear on Hide’s ceiling.

It was storming outside, and while Hide didn’t particularly mind the thunder or lighting, he was scared the power would go out and leave him in the dark.

And that was just what happened.

Kaneki was over. His visits became less frequent after his hair went white, and that made the time together so much more important to Hide. Even if they just stayed in bed and cuddled, enjoying each other’s company.

When the light went out, Kaneki’s arms immediately tightened around him as Hide stiffened, his breath catching. Kaneki tucked his chin down, resting it on top of Hide’s head.

“Kaneki…” Hide’s breath hitched as Kaneki pulled the blanket up further. “I’m – I’m afraid of…”

“I know.” Kaneki kissed the top of his head, then shifted away briefly. “Give me a second.”

Then Kaneki was back, pulling the blankets over their heads. Kaneki turned the brightness up on his phone, illuminating the little space Kaneki created for them. Kaneki smiled gently, his white hair illuminated.

“God, I love you.” Hide declared, his voice thick.

Hide watched as Kaneki’s entire face went red, all the way to his hairline, his eyes widening adorably. “I – I love you too.”


	42. Movie Night

Being tackled by a very affectionate ghoul was not the first thing Hide expected when he got home. Hide didn’t even get to lock the door before he was swept up and given a welcoming kiss. Hide laughed, tossing his keys towards the counter – and utterly missing.

“What’s the occasion?” Hide laughed, wrapping his legs around Kaneki. He relished the attention, enjoying the snuggles Kaneki was giving him. “Am I missing something?”

“No, I just –“ Kaneki brushed their lips together. “Like to keep you on your toes.”

“Technically, I’m not even on the ground.” Hide said. “Just on _you_.”

Kaneki snorted, shaking his head. He carried Hide, fast enough his head spun, and dropped them onto the couch. To Hide’s surprise, Kaneki dropped him in a seated position, placing his head on Hide’s lap. Then, Hide noticed his surroundings and he grinned. A movie paused on the opening credits, and placed on the table in front of him a wrapped burger from Big Girl and a tall bottle of strawberry soda.

“Oh, _man._ ” Hide would take this over an expensive dinner any day, especially with Kaneki tucked so nicely against him. “What did I ever do to deserve this?”

It was meant as a rhetorical question, but after a few more moments, Kaneki answered. “More than you could ever know...” Kaneki swallowed thickly, tucking the sentimental moment away. He smiled softly, then wrapped his arms firmly around Hide’s waist. “You should really hit play. Haven’t you been talking about finally getting to see this movie for weeks?”

“You didn’t!” Hide grinned, cupping Kaneki’s cheeks and leaning down to kiss him before playing the movie. He picked up the burger, attempting to eat it with one hand while the other was buried in Kaneki’s hair. And they both knew full well at some point a piece of food would fall right onto Kaneki’s face.


	43. Hold Me Closer

Kaneki picked at the hem of his warm sweater, compliments of Tsukiyama, who bought him an entirely new wardrobe upon their move to the new house. It was a convenient arrangement for Kaneki, who would have had difficulty supporting himself while hunting down Dr. Kanou and other Aogiri members.

Kaneki started tapping his fingers against his knee anxiously. He hadn’t seen Hide for _weeks_ , since he was captured by Aogiri. He was supposed to be his boyfriend and Kaneki hadn’t even texted him once until earlier that evening. He was nervous, and though Hide hadn’t seemed angry, it was hard to tell over texts. Hide and Kaneki rarely had any arguments, but Kaneki was still scared. He was scared how much he hurt Hide.

He gave Hide the address of his new home, hesitantly asking Banjou to take Hinami out so he could be alone for a few hours, which was met with a gentle hand on his shoulder and encouraging words.

There was a knock on the door and Kaneki’s breath caught in his throat. Shakily, he stood and headed to the door, slowly opening it. Hide was outside, a small smile on his face as Kaneki peeked through the crack at him.

“Hey.” Hide waited for Kaneki to fully open the door before he stepped inside, sparing a glance around before bringing his gaze back to Kaneki, his face softening. “It’s been a while.”

Kaneki bit his lip and nodded, unable to meet Hide’s eyes.

Hide hummed, his warm fingers sliding under Kaneki’s chin. “You changed your look up a bit, didn’t you?” Hide examined Kaneki’s white hair with an impassive expression. Then, his voice broke. “I missed you.”

Kaneki felt his bottom lip tremble and he squeezed his eyes shut as he felt them begin to burn with oncoming tears. He felt Hide cup both his cheeks, then there were lips on his own, gentle and sweet and _reassuring_.

“Here,” Hide whispered. He guided Kaneki back to the couch where they sat together, Hide’s arms wrapped around him. Kaneki rested his head against Hide’s shoulder, crying quietly as Hide rubbed his back. Occasionally, a sob would burst free from Kaneki’s tightly sealed lips and Hide would curl around him a little more, holding him a little tighter.

Kaneki nuzzled against Hide’s neck, his voice muffled. “Hold me closer?”

Hide pulled Kaneki closer to his chest, resting his head on the top of Kaneki’s. “Yeah.”

Kaneki sighed, his fingers curling in the fabric of Hide’s shirt. “I… I missed you too.”


	44. Chilly Mornings

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you are noticing there are some sentences repeating throughout these drabbles, its because some of the prompts were quotes. Like this one: "Hold me closer." 
> 
> Also, I'm dying. I never realized I did this many drabbles. Help

Hide liked quiet mornings the best. Maybe that sounded weird coming from him, someone who was always ready for some excitement and action, but it was true. He usually woke up early in the morning, his sleep schedule still set to his work one, while Kaneki still slept, tired from staying up late with books and coffee.

Hide always got up slowly, spending a few more moments beside Kaneki before he kissed his forehead and got up, rushing to put a sweater on to chase away the cold. He padded to the kitchen, steps quick against the cool floor as he made a beeline for the kitchen. He would make some coffee, sitting on the counter as it brewed.

It wasn’t long before the smell of coffee awoke Kaneki and he emerged from the room, rubbing his eyes as made his way to Hide. Hide held out his arms and Kaneki went into the embrace, murmuring a ‘good morning’ before he lightly pecked Hide on the cheek.

“Hold me closer.” Kaneki snuggled against Hide’s chest, shivering.

Hide hummed and scooted closer to the edge of the counter, allowing his legs to part on either side of Kaneki. “Better?”

“Closer,” Kaneki mumbled.

Hide snorted a laugh. “I don’t know how much closer I can get.”

Kaneki huffed, and Hide suddenly found himself airborne as Kaneki lifted him. It took them seconds to make it to the couch, where Kaneki deposited Hide and promptly crawled over him, placing his head under Hide’s chin. Hide grinned and wrapped his arms around him.

“Still sleepy?” Hide kissed the top of Kaneki’s head, ruffling his hair lightly. He heard a sigh in response. He prodded Kaneki’s cheek, only getting a grumble. “I’m making coffee you know.” Hide poked Kaneki’s cheek again. “Hey. Don’t fall asleep while pinning me to the couch. ‘Neki? Damn it.”


	45. Flower Shop/Tattoo Artist AU

Hide just finished tattooing his last customer. He cleaned up, making sure everything was tidy and ready for the next day. Hide took pride in his work and the satisfaction of his customers when he went beyond their expectations. He was young, but he was good.

Sneaking a peak in one of the mirrors, Hide made sure his hair was perfect, and that his clothes were straight.

Now, it wasn’t like Hide had a date. _He didn’t._ Not technically, anyway. Though he was meeting his very cute…. Boyfriend? Guy he brought presents to and kissed and generally did date stuff with? They hadn’t made anything official, but Hide felt they had a relationship. Hide was exclusively seeing Kaneki, and Hide hoped Kaneki was exclusively seeing him as well.

Kaneki was still working. People usually bought flowers after work, so the flower shop was open later. Kaneki would be there when Hide got off work, his day still rather slow for another hour, so Hide always took that opportunity to visit him.

Hide picked up his bag, a book sitting safely inside, and made his way down the street. Kaneki’s shop was bright, flowers showing through the windows, and Hide smiled as he entered it. It smelled nice. Hide looked around, finding Kaneki sitting at the register, probably anticipating Hide’s arrival. He smiled when he saw Hide.

“Hey, ‘neki. This is for you.” Hide opened his bag and pulled out the book, presenting it to Kaneki.

His eyes glittered when he saw it. He took the book from Hide, tracing the cover gently. “Thank you.” He was still smiling softly as he pulled something out from behind the counter. “Here.” Kaneki reached out towards Hide’s face. Hide leaned forward, grinning when he saw the flower Kaneki had in his hand. He placed it in Hide’s hair, the colour complimenting the gold.

“Oh~ pretty.” Hide touched the flower gently and Kaneki rolled his eyes.

“This is also for you.” Kaneki held out a pretty bouquet, filled with red roses. Hide took them with wide eyes, a little surprised at the bold move of romance from Kaneki. “And this too.” Kaneki placed his elbows on the counter and leaned forward, pressing their lips together.

Flustered, Hide blinked rapidly, holding the flowers to his chest. “Gee, what are all these gifts about?”

Kaneki tilted his head, looking confused. “It’s our one month anniversary, isn’t it?”

Oh. _Oh_. So Kaneki thought the same as Hide then. Hide blushed, and kissed Kaneki again. “Yeah. I guess it is.”


	46. Hero/Villain AU

Kaneki dispatched the last assailant, flipping his staff down to his side. The back alley was filled with various bodies, every single person unconscious. Kaneki usually took on smaller tasks, local gangs who were being violent and harming civilians, or the odd individual who was wreaking havoc on the city.

However, he was currently helping the police track down members of the Washuu mafia, a family that rose to power just less than a year earlier, committing all kinds of crimes. Kaneki couldn’t let them get away with what they were doing. He felt like he was picking away at the edges of the organization, only managing to capture those lower on the ladder, but he was hoping he would get lucky.

And lucky he was.

As he busted open the door to the small hideout, he almost couldn’t believe his eyes. Seated there in a chair behind a desk was the youngest son, Washuu Hideyoshi. His eyes were closed, but they snapped open when Kaneki entered. Kaneki acted fast, swinging out with his staff.

The young Washuu let out a high pitched yelp, jerking back. Kaneki heard a crack as his chair tipped over. And then nothing. Kaneki cautiously looked around the desk, seeing the young Washuu lying on the ground. Motionless. Not even his chest was moving.

Christ. Had he killed him?

Kaneki stepped closer, nudging the man’s side with his staff. Nothing. Kaneki’s eyebrows pinched as he knelt down, holding his palm in front of the man’s face.

He wasn’t breathing.

Kaneki cursed and dropped his staff. He couldn’t let the man die, he needed him for information. He moved closer to the man, pulling his mask off in one swift motion. Hell, he was going to have to do CPR. Call an ambulance? He didn’t have a phone on him.

He felt the man’s neck, sighing in relief when he felt a pulse. But why wasn’t the young Washuu breathing? Confused, Kaneki lifted the man’s chin and leaned close.

Then the man’s jaw moved. “Does that mean we’re dating?”

Kaneki jumped away, a hand moving to cover the bottom of his face.

“I wouldn’t mind. You’re pretty cute.” The young Washuu grinned, his eyes twinkling.

Shit, he saw Kaneki’s face. How could he be so _careless_? He had to put an end to it. Capture the young Washuu and turn him in.

He dove for his staff, but it was skillfully kicked up into an awaiting hand. “You know, you’re pretty good. You dispatched all the people at the door, didn’t you? I’m impressed.”

Kaneki said nothing, sliding his mask back over his face. He reached for the two batons he carried, pulling them out.

“Sorry, I’d really like to, but I have no time to play right now.” As the young Washuu spoke, he slowly backed up. “I really must be going.” There was the sound of a metallic mechanism, then the man disappeared behind a hidden door. It slid shut behind him. Kaneki rushed forward, but couldn’t find any way through.

 _He lost him_.

…

It was days later that Kaneki was sitting in a small café, contemplating how he was still alive. He certainly shouldn’t be. He expected someone to show up at his apartment to kill him. But no one showed up.

He looked up when someone slid into the booth with him, his eyes widening when he saw blond hair.

“You!” Kaneki gasped.

The young Washuu grinned, blood dripping down from his busted lip. “I’m here for our date, Kaneki”

“Date?” Kaneki asked, confused. “What are you doing here? Why did you – I… are you here to threaten me?”

“Threaten you?” The young Washuu shook his head. “No. I’m not here to do that.”

As Kaneki looked closer, he could see how hurt the man was, his left cheek bruised and swollen. He held himself strangely, like there were more injuries on his body. “What do you want then?”

“I want _out_.” The young Washuu’s voice was desperate. “I’ll give you information. Whatever you need. I don’t care. _I want out_.”

“Out?” Kaneki echoed.

“Yes, Kaneki. _Out._ I don’t want to be a part of my family. I despise what they do. And finally, finally, I have a ticket out. I can feed you information, but on one condition.”

Kaneki nodded slowly, feeling like he finally understood. “What’s the condition?”

“You can’t let anyone know I’m giving you this information. If they knew what I was doing, I would certainly die. Even if all of my family is locked up, they have connections.”

“What happens to you then? After everything is over?” Kaneki leaned forward over the table, balancing on his elbows.

“I disappear. You don’t have to worry about me ever again,” The young Washuu assured. He held his hands out, showing his palms. “Do we have a deal?”

“Yes,” Kaneki held out his hand and the young Washuu shook it.

“Thank you.” He looked relived… and a little hopeful. “You can call me Hide, by the way.”

~<3<3<3~

Kaneki tumbled into his house, holding a particularly deep wound on his arm. He had a rough battle, a bloody one, but he managed to help the police capture a lot of people, keeping casualties minimal even if he got injured in the process. Kaneki slowly made his way to the bathroom, feeling exhausted and sore, so many parts of his body aching.

He reached over and flipped on the bathroom light, only to see a figure leaning against the sink, grinning. Kaneki jumped, swearing.

“Did you really have to do that?” Kaneki groaned, nearly banging his head against the wall.

“Yes. So? How did it go?”

“Your information was good. As promised.” Kaneki reached past Hide into the bathroom cabinet, pulling out his first aid kit. He winced, blood dripping from the wound on his forearm. It was then that Kaneki realized with one hand he couldn’t stitch it himself.

 _God_ , he was tired.

Hide took the kit out of Kaneki’s hand. “Come on. You should sit down.” Kaneki let himself relax as Hide took a hold of his shoulders, gingerly guiding them to sit on the bathroom floor. “You’re a real mess.”

“Yeah,” Kaneki laughed and Hide shook his head.

“Alright, come on buddy. Lay your head down and hold your arm out.” Kaneki let Hide lay him in his lap and he limply held his arm out. “You’re lucky you got this on the back of your arm and not the front.” There would have been a lot more blood.

Kaneki just hummed as he heard the kit open and Hide started working on him, cleaning his arm before he stitched it. He wondered why or how Hide learned how to do that… but it hurt Kaneki’s head to think.

“Almost done.” Hide paused momentarily to run a hand comfortingly through Kaneki’s hair. “Are you hurt anywhere else? Bleeding?”

“Nothing bad. Just bruises.” Kaneki’s eyes fluttered shut as Hide finished bandaging his wound.

Hide prodded his cheek with a finger. “You gonna get cleaned up?”

“Later.” Kaneki grumbled. His eyelids were heavy and he felt like he could fall asleep right there in Hide’s lap.

“God, you’re a handful. If you’re this hopeless after you go out on a job, I might have to come over more often.” Kaneki felt momentarily disoriented as he was lifted and cradled against Hide’s chest. After trial and error, Hide managed to find Kaneki’s bedroom, depositing him on the bed carefully. “Sleep tight, Kaneki. I’ll be back in a bit to check on you, ‘kay?”

“Okay.” Kaneki buried his face into his pillow and was out in no time.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This was another drabble I wanted to create a longer work for at some point. I think I just straight up forgot about it though lmao. Or got too intimidated about writing a crime drama and put it off until I forgot about it haha. I love reading crime dramas, but I always have trouble writing them. Kudos to anyone who tackles them. I much prefer Urban Fantasy and High Fantasy. 
> 
> I can tell I was eager to get this drabble over with. There was so much pure dialogue in the middle... welp. I have to physically restrain myself to post as is and not rework this...


	47. Afraid of Loss

Hide could tell Kaneki was injured right away, a dark mark appearing across Hide’s shoulder after a short flash of pain letting him know his soulmate was injured. He gasped sharply, tracing the mark gently, hoping his soulmate could feel the gentleness of the action, and at the same time, knowing he couldn’t. He watched as the mark slowly disappeared – fast by human standards – but as Hide watched the wound slowly close, he felt like it couldn’t go fast enough.

Hide sat up for the rest of the night. Waiting – wondering – when Kaneki would come back home and assure him everything was alright. He nibbled his lip, listening to the pot of coffee he put on to help him stay up.

A few hours later, Kaneki came in, blood all over him. He looked surprised to see Hide up, his eyebrows raising. Hide rose from the couch slowly, closing the few steps of distance between him and Kaneki, wrapping his arms around him, blood be damned. Kaneki cautiously hugged him back, still seeming confused. His fingers carded through Hide’s hair and his thumb traced along Hide’s cheek. When he saw the tears there, he inhaled sharply.

Hide spoke before Kaneki could. “I’m afraid of losing you.” The words hung heavy between them.

Kaneki’s throat bobbed as he swallowed thickly, his eyes fixed on the wall over Hide’s head. “I… I’ll be okay Hide. I heal.”

“What if you don’t next time? What if the injury is too bad next time?” Hide tucked his face against Kaneki’s shoulder, shuddering. “What if you don’t come back?”

“I _will_.” Kaneki whispered. “…I’m afraid of losing you too.” Kaneki’s arms tightened around Hide as he almost sobbed at his words. “I want to come back. To you. Every day I’m scared that I won’t, that I won’t see you again. I’m scared that something bad will happen if I’m not here, and all I want is for you to be safe and happy.”

Hide could feel Kaneki’s tears hitting his shoulder, soaking through the fabric of his t-shirt. It felt like his throat was constricting. “I’m sorry.”

Kaneki stiffened. “Why are you sorry?”

“I shouldn’t have…” Hide’s voice caught in his throat. “I shouldn’t have said anything. It only made you worry. I – “

Kaneki’s arms tightened again as he made a gentle, comforting hum. “Don’t be sorry for something like that.” He pulled back just enough to kiss Hide, even though Hide was sure he was pretty gross and snotty at the moment. “I love you. I want to know how you’re doing, what’s worrying you.” Kaneki pressed their foreheads together, his eyes red from tears, but soft. “You always ask me to tell you what’s bothering me, so how about you follow your own words of wisdom too, yeah?”

Hide made a noise that was something between a chuckle and a sob as he hesitantly nodded. Kaneki smiled in response, making Hide’s heart ache. “Okay,” Hide mumbled. “Okay.”

“Come on,” Kaneki effortlessly lifted Hide, keeping them in contact. “Let’s get cleaned up and go to bed.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I made pizza buns and they are really good. Except I now have a whole bunch of dishes to do hhhhhhhhh


	48. Soulmate First Kiss

Kaneki met his soulmate a week earlier. He didn’t know what he was expecting when he met him. Kaneki read so many books about soulmates meeting. There were dramatic kisses, gross crying and just so much _passion._ In fact, he was reading one of those books now, smiling to himself.

Though his soulmate was certainly the dramatic type, Kaneki was swept up into a hug rather than a kiss, and there were no tears, just smiles. There wasn’t passion either, but rather, a calm feeling that came over Kaneki like he finally found the place he belonged.

“Hey, Ken.” He felt Hide’s arms slip over the back of the couch and wrapped around his shoulders loosely. “What you reading this time?”

Kaneki felt his face go red. “Um.” He could practically feel Hide reading the words over his shoulder.

Kaneki heard him hum. “Would you have liked something like that?”

“I – I don’t know.” Kaneki squirmed a little. “I think I liked our meeting more. It was really nice and… and comfortable.”

“Oh.” Hide murmured, holding Kaneki a little tighter.

“Though,” Kaneki chewed his lip. “If you wanted to kiss me now… I would like that.”

Hide let his arms drop as he walked around the couch, then plopped down beside Kaneki. “I would too.”

Kaneki’s breath hitched as Hide reached out and brushed his fingers across his cheek. His eyes fluttered shut at the touch and he sighed. They snapped back open when he felt Hide’s breath on his lips. When he saw Hide’s eyes inches from his, he squeezed them shut again.

“Hey book nerd, how am I supposed to kiss you while you’re scrunching up your face like that?” Hide teased, pulling at Kaneki’s cheek gently.

“S-sorry.” Kaneki tried to smooth his face out, but based on Hide’s laughter, he wasn’t very successful.

“You good?” Hide asked gently and Kaneki quickly nodded. He was eager, but so incredible nervous too. “Okay.”

Hide’s lips dusted over Kaneki’s face softly, kissing his forehead, his cheeks, his nose, his jaw. “You’re beautiful.” Then he kissed Kaneki’s lips.

It felt weird at first. Kaneki was still a little rigid, but when Hide pulled him close, tracing Kaneki’s spine with his palm, Kaneki found himself relaxing into his arms. Then, he started kissing Hide back, moving their lips together and listening to the happy noise Hide made.

It felt like it was over too soon when Hide pulled back, smiling. “Does that mean we’re dating?”

“I – I suppose.” Kaneki murmured, flushed.


	49. Yet Another Soulmate AU

Running into his soulmate while working was the last thing Kaneki Ken expected that day. Like any other day he woke up and made himself coffee before heading to the café to do the same for so many other exhausted university students.

It was Thursday, a usually quiet morning. The café was nearly empty and between serving patrons, Kaneki read his book. When he was done his shift – which was in about ten minutes – Kaneki would probably go home and finish it. The door dinged and Kaneki glanced up to see the person he would be serving, only to feel like his heart was about to beat out of his chest.

Oh.

His whole body tingled as he met the blonde’s eyes and his breath caught in his throat.

_Oh._

Kaneki didn’t know how he knew, but the blond seemed to as well, walking towards Kaneki as if he was in a trance.

“ _Dude._ ” Was the only thing the blond said before practically launching himself across the counter, locking his arms around Kaneki’s waist.

Kaneki yelped and leaned back, not quite sure what to do with someone hanging onto him and flailing about. “U-um.”

The man finally let go of him. “Sorry, man. I’m just. _So excited,_ you know? My name’s Hide! I can’t believe I actually found you.”

Kaneki nodded. “I’m Kaneki – G-give me a few minutes to finish up here, okay?”

Hide eyes brightened and he nodded back, plopping down at one of the nearby tables, watching Kaneki as if he was in awe the whole time. It wasn’t long before Touka came to take over. He could almost sense Hide bouncing as he rushed into the bathroom to change out of his uniform. A few minutes later, Hide was grasping Kaneki’s hand and guiding him through the streets of Tokyo.

Kaneki generally liked peace and quiet, but there was something thrilling about being with Hide, going somewhere mysterious with a mysterious person – except he felt like he _knew_ Hide.

He supposed that was part of being soulmates.

“We’re here!” It was around noon and the park was not at all empty. Hide walked around like he was at home, sitting down on a bench and pulling Kaneki after him. Then Hide held him arms out with a bright expression and Kaneki hesitantly sunk into the embrace. The feeling was immediate. He was suddenly warm, comfortable, like there was nowhere else he wanted to be than in Hide’s arms.

It was… frightening, yet exhilarating at the same time.

Feeling overwhelmed, Kaneki took a deep breath. Stealing his nerves, Kaneki quickly pecked Hide on the cheek. Hide froze momentarily, then smiled brighter than ever.

Hide launching himself at Kaneki again, startling a laugh out of him. “Why this?” Kaneki shook his head and ruffled Hide’s hair as he hugged him tightly.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Rereading some of these old drabbles, I can really see how I improved as an author. It's sort of nice.


	50. Withered

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TW: Major Character Death

Hide reached towards him, aching to just feel Kaneki’s skin under his fingertips one last time. As always, his fingers passed through and Kaneki continued on like nothing happened. From Kaneki’s perspective, nothing did. He didn’t know Hide was there.

Hide died two years earlier.

He wanted to hold Kaneki, but he would never be able to again. He was doomed to sit and watch his love go through life. He would smile when Kaneki was happy, but he would also scream and suffer while Kaneki wasn’t, trying to find some way to help him, but knowing all his efforts were always in vain.

He could hardly bear it. It was hard. There were the nights where Kaneki laid in bed crying, staring up at the ceiling. Sometimes Hide’s name were the words on his lips that escaped with a tortured sigh. Hide wanted to crawl in bed with him and hold him the way he used to. He wanted to wipe the tears from his eyes and tell him that everything was alright, that he would get past this and that there were better things to come. He wanted to tell Kaneki that he wasn’t alone.

But Hide wasn’t able to do any of that. He could stay there with Kaneki and pretend that Kaneki could somehow sense him there when he held his hand, or gently brushed his lips against his forehead. It was the only thing that kept Hide from falling apart entirely. Kaneki was alone, but Hide was even more so.

The only one who derived some comfort from those non-existent touches was Hide, trying to convince himself that he was able to do something, even if he was dead.

Sometimes he wished it was all just a dream and that he would wake up beside Kaneki, alive. That everything would be set right. Yet day after day he sat by Kaneki’s bed at night and his hopes withered.


	51. Sickfic

Hide dabbed at Kaneki’s forehead with a wet towel, his brow creased. Kaneki stared up at his face as he worked. Hide didn’t say anything for a long while, not since Kaneki decided to pay his boyfriend a visit in his fevered daze. Well, probably Kaneki’s _ex_ -boyfriend considering Kaneki hadn’t even contacted him in months. Not since Aogiri…

Kaneki squirmed a little, pushing himself up, and Hide’s eyes flashed down to his.

“Don’t try to stand,” he said.

Kaneki froze obligingly and Hide froze as well, then sighed.

“Don’t worry too much, okay?” Hide began dabbing at his forehead again. “Just let me take care of you.”

“Why would you?” Kaneki asked. “It’s not like I’ve…”

Hide sighed again, much louder. “ _Ken._ ” He ran his fingers through his hair, then softened his tone. “Ken. I already forgave you.” Hide licked his lips and set the towel down. “But what you did still hurts. And what I want – what I really want – is to be part of your life again. Can you promise to not push me away again?”

Kaneki closed his eyes. He couldn’t bear to see the pain in Hide’s eyes.

“Please don’t look away.” Hide’s voice trembled and Kaneki forced his eyes back open. “Can you give me answer?”

“I don’t know.” Kaneki murmured. “I don’t want… my life is a lot more dangerous than it used to be. I don’t want you to get caught up in it.”

“I don’t care if I get caught up in it.” Hide shook his head. “I want to be with you. So please let me make that decision for myself.”

Kaneki swallowed thickly, his throat burning. “I won’t push you away.”

Hide sobbed, wiping his eyes. Kaneki hadn’t even realized he was crying. “Thank you.”

Hide picked up the towel again, laying down beside Kaneki. He was smiling, even though there were tears in his eyes. Hide rested his head against Kaneki’s shoulder and Kaneki caught Hide’s hand, holding it gently against his chest.


	52. Ice Skating

“Here, give me your hand.”

Kaneki sat on the ice, brushing the snow off his pants. Kaneki had never gone ice skating before and he was everything less than graceful. After countless falls on the ice, Kaneki appeared to have lost his motivation, sweaty bangs falling in his eyes and a prominent frown on his face.

Hide held his hand out expectantly and Kaneki regarded it for a few moments. After a long sigh, he allowed Hide to pull him up. As soon as he stood on wobbling legs, he went to release Hide’s hand. However, Hide held on tight.

“Please trust me.” Hide positioned himself so they were facing each other, then slowly began to skate backward, guiding Kaneki carefully. “I won’t let you fall.”

The snow was starting to fall, gently landing in Kaneki’s white hair. Hide didn’t know how Kaneki could possibly have such control of his body on solid ground, yet none of that seemed to transfer over to the ice.

“What are you going to do if you get in a fight and it’s icy out?” Hide teased.

Kaneki snorted.

“Mind you, the only time you come out of your cocoon when it’s this cold is if I drag you out.” Hide halted his movements and Kaneki huffed as his momentum carried him to Hide’s chest.

Hide smiled at Kaneki, showing all his teeth. Kaneki made a face and then Hide was suddenly yanked forward, all the air whooshing out of his lungs when he fell on top of Kaneki.

“I thought you wouldn’t let me fall.”

“Okay, but that wasn’t fair.” Hide brushed his hair out of his face. “You did that on purpose.”

“Maybe.” Kaneki’s lips twitched.

Hide rested his arms on either side of Kaneki’s head, his eyebrows raised. “ _Maybe_.” He brushed his lips against Kaneki’s and Kaneki hummed happily.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Fun fact: I broke my leg ice skating when I was younger. Good stuff.


	53. Horribly Flustered

“ _Hide_ , shouldn’t you be in class right now?” Kaneki placed what must have been at least his _fifth_ coffee in front of him.

“Eh.” Hide wiggled his hand. “It’s just a review session anyway. Besides, with all the studying I’m doing…” Hide winked. “I need coffee.”

Kaneki rolled his eyes and flicked his towel at him. “My shift is almost over. You going to come over and have coffee at my place instead? Since, you know, you need it for all that studying.” Kaneki could feel his cheeks warming. Maybe he was being too subtle…

Hide blinked, his expression almost blank.

…or was Kaneki reading too much into Hide’s actions in the first place? Kaneki could have sworn Hide had been flirting with him for the past month, but maybe he was just imagining it.

“Sorry. Never mind.” Kaneki spun around quickly and went to finish cleaning up.

There was a strangled noise behind him and a hand grasped onto his. “Hold the fuck up,” Hide gasped, his expression bright. “Geez. Of course I’ll come over. For coffee.” Hide cleared his throat. “For – uh – a date. Right?” Hide’s whole face was going red in the most endearing way.

“Right.” Kaneki said, smiling as Hide went from holding onto his hand to hanging onto his entire arm. “But I have to get changed first.”

“Uh – yeah! That’s right.” Hide released Kaneki’s arm hastily. “Do you like… need help?” Hide’s face (if possible) went even redder than before. “I mean… I don’t know… that’s not what I…”

“Thank you for the offer, but I think I can manage on my own.” Kaneki laughed. Kaneki never expected Hide would be more flustered than him in a situation like that. It was oddly comforting and awfully adorable. “Why don’t you finish your coffee? I’ll be out by the time you’re done it.”

Hide nodded, then rushed back to his table, smiling into the steam of his coffee.


	54. Damn I Really Like Mermaid AUs

Kaneki was missing for days. It wasn’t uncommon for Kaneki to disappear for a while, but he would _always_ tell Hide that he was leaving. He never made Hide worry.

And Hide was _worried_.

It wasn’t for another week that Kaneki showed back up, bloodied and beaten. His fins were torn and there was clear damage done to his gills from tight and twisted netting. The very worst was the gash across his arm from what Hide later learned was a harpoon.

Humans were horrible.

Kaneki had been taken by a fishing crew after he got tangled in one of their nets. He fought to escape, but even after all his struggling, they still managed to capture him, probably intending to sell him to some high-paying buyer. Kaneki didn’t explain how he escaped. Hide didn’t ask him either. He just held him and helped tend to his injuries.

“I’m here. I love you. You’re going to be okay. I’ve got you.” Hide whispered into Kaneki’s hair, rubbing his back comfortingly. Once they were done cleaning up, Hide took Kaneki to a quiet place where he could cry as much as he needed to.

He clutched at Hide’s shoulder, seeming like he was trying his hardest to hide his face against Hide’s throat. Hide held him as close as he could, fighting the urge to ask more about the fisher crew.

What did their boat look like? Where were they? How many of them were there?

Hide knew Kaneki wouldn’t want him to take revenge, so the only words that left Hide’s mouth were soft ones of comfort. Even though he entertained the thought of beautifully singing those fishermen to death, until the very last one took their last breath and sank into the endless depths of the ocean. 

Eventually, Kaneki cried himself to sleep.

Kaneki made pained noises as he rested, his injuries hurting him even then. Hide held him carefully, making sure not to touch any of Kaneki’s cuts or bruises. It was fairly difficult, considering practically his whole body was black and blue. His face was hidden against Hide’s neck, his lips occasionally moving to form soundless words. Every once in a while he would gasp or cry, Hide always doing his best to comfort him back into a semi-peaceful sleep. After a couple hours, he blinked his eyes open. They were still red-rimmed. 

“It’s okay, Ken.” Hide whispered. “I’m here. I’ll keep you safe.”

Kaneki huffed in response and Hide smiled.

“You’ll be alright.”

‘Hide…” Kaneki murmured. “How am I supposed to sleep if you keep talking to me?”

“Sorry,” Hide said. “I didn’t mean to wake you. Try to go back to sleep.” Hide gently cupped Kaneki’s cheek.

Kaneki tilted his head into Hide’s hand. “I’ve slept enough for a while.”

Hide traced his thumb along Kaneki’s cheek, careful to not get too close to Kaneki’s black eye. “How do you feel?”

Kaneki smiled. “You don’t have to take care of me.” He shook his head, his smile falling. “You don’t have to burden yourself.”

“I’m not burdening myself.” Hide gingerly held Kaneki a little closer. “You’re not a burden. I’ll take care of you until you get better, and even longer if you want me to.”

Kaneki opened his mouth, then closed it. “You’re incomprehensible.”

“Am I?” Hide brushed his lips across Kaneki’s forehead. “How is it incomprehensible if you would do the same for me?’

“I…” Kaneki sighed. “I love you. Will you stay? Will you really stay? I m-might not be well for a long while, Hide. A-and not just physically.” Tears began to gather in Kaneki’s already swollen eyes.

“I’ll stay. No matter what. I’ll be here for you.”


	55. So Many Soulmate AUs

Hide didn’t know if there was anything worse than being apart from his soulmate. It had been months since he last saw Kaneki and it felt like his heart was being ripped out of his chest each damn day. And the worst – the very worst – was feeling the distressed tug from Kaneki. The worst was knowing that Kaneki was suffering even more than he was.

Kaneki wanted him to stay away. He wanted Hide to stay safe. Hide knew that. He knew it and it only made him hurt more. Hide knew the truth – that Kaneki was a ghoul. Yet he never told Kaneki that. He wanted to so badly, but he still couldn’t get past the fact that Kaneki _wouldn’t_. Despite their bond, he never told Hide. Hide understood why Kaneki wouldn’t, that he was scared. But that didn’t make it hurt any less.

Hide didn’t like confrontation. He didn’t like arguing, especially with Kaneki. But he couldn’t stand to have the both of them suffer while they could be together, living happily (happier). So Hide found himself standing outside the front door of Kaneki’s home.

Kaneki opened the door himself, freezing when he noticed who was standing there.

“We need to talk.” Hide stepped past Kaneki and into the apartment, their shoulders brushing. Even the smallest touch made the skin feel like it was burning.

Kaneki shut the door behind him, his gaze trained on the floor. “You shouldn’t be here.”

“Didn’t stop me from coming.” Hide turned to Kaneki, and he couldn’t help but soften his tone when he saw him nervously biting his lip. “Are we going to talk here or somewhere else?”

“You… can follow me.” Kaneki led the way to his bedroom. Hide had never been there before, but it felt strangely nostalgic. Kaneki sat on the edge of the bed and Hide followed suit.

“I love you.” Hide said carefully. “You know that, right?”

“I do.” Kaneki’s bottom lip was trembling, his shoulders stiff.

“And I know you love me too… I think I know you better than myself,” Hide prodded.

Kaneki was shaking his head. “There are things you don’t know. Hide, its best if you would just…“

“It’s painful to be away from you. I don’t want to be away from you. I want to be right here.” Hide gestured to himself. “Beside you. You being a ghoul doesn’t change that.”

Kaneki jolted at the blunt statement. “You knew?”

“Of course I knew.” Hide threw himself back onto the bed. “I didn’t want to push you. I wanted you to come to me yourself, but I just can’t take it anymore.”

“Hide…” He could hear the tears in Kaneki’s voice.

“So please, don’t push me away anymore ‘neki.”


	56. Dancing Soulmates

Your tattoo shows the first thing your soulmate thought when they first saw you.

Hide liked the dances, he liked the elaborate costumes and he liked watching all the people. They were put on by his household a few times a year, all types of people showing up.

But the dancing was his very favourite. Dancing was one of the many things he learned while growing up in the Washuu household. Dancing was what he always turned to when he was frustrated or upset, so he supposed it was fate that dancing was how he would meet his soulmate as well.

Hide had the lines: “don’t step on his feet” three times on his left shoulder, the first words his soulmate would think when he saw him.

So it was no wonder Hide spent most of his time on the dancefloor, dancing with everyone he could. But all the times he danced and all the balls he went to, he never felt the telltale spark of finding his soulmate. He had yet to feel the words on his shoulder burn pleasantly as his soulmate thought them.

It was halfway through the night and Hide’s feet were starting to get sore. He continued to fluidly move from one dancer to another, but only briefly took a break to get some water. He finished his dance with a blonde woman who was just a little older than him and he nodded politely, then went to search for a new partner. Luckily, there was a man standing just a few feet away and Hide rushed over to ask for his hand.

As the man took his hand, Hide felt his shoulder twinge almost painfully and he jolted, looking up to see his partner’s face.

_‘Wow, he’s cute.’_

The man froze momentarily, his eyes wide. “Um –“

Hide took a deep breath, his heart pounding in his chest. “I’ll lead. Please trust me.”

The music started.


	57. Wtf I Got Sad Reading This

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TW: Major Character Death

Hide’s vision had always been filled with the brightest colours. Even all through his life, colours remained bright and hardly ever faded. He was told he was lucky. That meant his soulmate would have a long life, since as your soulmate became closer to death, your vision faded to grey.

Hide was always happy, thinking he was blessed with a long life with his soulmate. They could do so many things and grow old together. Hide often thought of settling down with Kaneki and living peacefully until they were old men.

It was almost funny think of it.

Hide clutched at his bleeding side, his face twisted pain. He reached for his phone with trembling fingers, smudging blood across the screen as he dialed Kaneki’s number.

It went to voicemail. Of course. Kaneki was probably sleeping.

Hide took a deep breath and started talking. “Hey, Ken. It’s… me. I’m sorry I had to say goodbye like this.” Hide leaned against the alley wall. “I love you. I just wanted you to know that. I’ll always love you. So please promise me you’ll live your best. Please find happiness.”

Hide’s knees buckled under him and he almost dropped the phone to the ground. He gasped harshly, trying to hush the noise so that Kaneki wouldn’t hear it when he heard the recording.

“I love you.” Hide licked his lips. “I understand why you didn’t tell me.” Even though he wished Kaneki had. “Thank you. I was able to live freely and without worry.” Hide voice trembled with oncoming tears. “But I wish you didn’t have to suffer so much. I love you, so please don’t suffer anymore.”

If Hide was to die so suddenly and so young, he wondered how long Kaneki had been seeing grey.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I feel like past me just came and punched me in the chest.


	58. Cutting the Red String

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TW: Major Character Death

Hide’s vision was growing blurry. He could hardly see Kaneki’s face anymore. “Ken.” He could hardly hear his own voice.

“Hide.” Warm hands cupped Hide’s cheeks. “It’ll be okay. The ambulance is on its way. Just hang on a little longer.”

“I’m so cold,” Hide whispered.

“You’ll be okay.” Kaneki draped his jacket over Hide, then wrapped him up in his arms. “Is this any better?”

Hide pressed his face against Kaneki’s neck. Even though he knew Kaneki was warm, everything still felt so cold. He tried to grasp Kaneki’s hands, but he didn’t have enough strength in his fingers. Kaneki caught both of his hands, rubbing the gently between his and blowing on him.

“Come on, Hide. I can’t lose you.” Kaneki said. “Come on. Look at me? Can you look at me?”

Hide opened his eyes. He hadn’t even realized he closed them. He opened his mouth, but no words came out. His vision grew worse, black encroaching along the edges. All he could see was Kaneki’s worried expression. Kaneki was crying.

“Stay with me.” Tears fell from Kaneki’s cheeks onto Hide’s. “You can’t leave me. Don’t leave me all alone. You’re my other half. You’re my most important person. Please, please, please. Just hang on. Just a few more minutes. Don’t leave me.”

Hide fought to keep his eyes open, to have a few more seconds with his soulmate. He wanted to tell Kaneki how sorry he was for leaving him so soon. He wanted to tell him how much he loved him. Tears gathered in his eyes, blurring his vision even further.

Kaneki was speaking again, but Hide couldn’t hear his voice anymore either. He felt like he was floating away, the red chord keeping him tied to Kaneki – to his world – was cut.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I think that's it. I don't think I have anymore drabbles hiding anywhere, but who knows. The only other thing I have is an old magic AU that I may take snippets from and post.


End file.
